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OHMIGAWDDD!

August 14, 2008 changes, completely random crap, discoveries, good times, updates

Yes I know, it’s been ages since I last posted. Sorry! I promise I had good reasons! I was busy renovating my room (pictures coming soon), then I went camping up North with Booth to meet his family (more on that later), then I avoided the Internet until I could read Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer. I did not want any secrets spilled! OHMYGAWDDD was it every super awesome and breathtakingly amazing! That’s all I will say though, because I don’t want to ruin it for anybody. All I know is that the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer is my all time favourite series of books EVER! This book is just icing on the super awesome cake!

So ya, if you haven’t already, read the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer, I promise you won’t regret it (and if you do you’re just crazy)! I am now counting down the days until Twilight the movie comes out!

Anyways, putting the amazing world of Twilight aside for a moment; I’m sure you’re all dying for updates on how my camping weekend with Booth went up North. It was awesome, his dad’s side of the family is really cool and funny - and they love dogs just as much if not more than I do! We were told we could bring Jake (”our” 8 month old puppy) next time we go up. I met a kazillion of his family members; his grandparents are so cool! They welcomed me with open arms and everybody gave me a million hugs and made sure I felt comfortable. His grandma plays the guitar! One of his uncles, upon being introduced with me, embraced me in a hug and tried to steal me away from Booth. It was quite hilarious! Booth and I are going up next weekend, with Jake. We are sure that Jake will have a blast :)

Anyways, this post update is taking a lot longer than I anticpated and now I’ve got to rush to get ready for an interview; it’s just at a pizza shop but hopefully I’ll get the job. Besides, I love the cheesey garlic bread! I’ll update more in a wee bit :)

Posted by Sarcastica @ 12:46 pm | 13 Comments  

My Worst Enemy is a Wood Chipper

August 2, 2008 I'm a STAR!, LOL, Sarcastica!, adventures, blog whore, completely random crap, friends, good times, updates

Interesting title eh? Well it has an interesting story behind it too. Well sort of, it was interesting to my slightly intoxicated ears anyway. Perhaps it won’t be as interesting to everyone else as it was to me, but I get joy out of writing pointless, not-silly stories in my blog so here goes another one:

It started last night, at Birdman’s party. For some reason unbeknown to me, we were talking about the grotesque website Rotten.com. Now if you have never heard of this website before and decide to visit it, do not send me hate me talking about how horrible I am for “advertising” it, since I’m not asking you to go to it and clearly from the URL, it’s not going to be a website full of rainbow ponies and butterflies.

Anyways, that aside, we were talking about the meat grinder picture (it’s gross don’t go) and someone brought up the subject of wood chippers and how they’d seen pictures of people who had fallen into them, and their remains. I was all; “OMG, how does that even happen? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t fall into a wood chipper on purpose.” One of my friends proceeded to tell me that wood chippers move at lighten speed, and when you’re putting tree trunks in there with branches, sometimes those branches can get caught on your clothes. “Well I’d jump back and rip my shirt off,” was my witty response.

Everyone in the group (14 or so people) started laughing and they all came to the conclusion that if a wood chipper and I ever got into a battle, the wood chipper would win because “there’s nothing to me”. Apparently, a wood chipper is my worst enemy. So I must never become a person who uses a wood chipper. The end.

Ok then…random story of the wood chipper aside, my weekend has - so far - been pretty cool, with a few exceptions of course. B1 moved out today, and this morning I got a call to come check out her new apartment with the fam.

I brought Booth with me, and he was nervous to go. He truly believes that my entire family hates him, and that if he attends any family functions, he will be ignored or frown down upon for his “dirty mouth”. He came though, because he knows how much I just want everyone to get along. He knows how hard it is for me to be caught up in the middle of everything. I constantly have to remind people that Booth is the person I have chosen to be with, whether we last forever (which we will) or if we break up in a year from now (which definitely won’t happen). I guess all I can do at this point is keep reminding and stand my ground though.

I started taking down the boarder in B1’s old bedroom. Heh, I know…it’s only been like 10 hours since she’s moved out but in all fairness we’ve got a lot of home renovating projects to do and it’s best to do them all now while I have the free time - thanks to my unemployment.

Posted by Sarcastica @ 8:48 pm | 8 Comments  

Girls Minds vs Guys Minds

July 31, 2008 I'm a STAR!, blog whore, changes, completely random crap, insecurties, issues, ranting & raving, updates

Sometimes I totally hate being a girl. I mean, I know that’s a completely over dramatic thing to say, but really. Girls are so emotional, they over analyze everything and most of them suck at that important thing called trust. Sure, there are the exceptions: but I’m not one of them. I’m as emotional as they come, and I wouldn’t say that I don’t trust; I just tend to think about the possibility of being let down…more than I probably should.

That doesn’t mean I don’t trust…because I do. I trust Booth with all of my heart. I just get really insecure sometimes…not all the time, but I have my days where I honestly wonder why on Earth this amazing guy is with me - and its not his fault at all. It’s mine, for being insecure. My thoughts are never “OMG he’s gonna cheat on me because that’s the kind of guy he is,” but more or less; “How can I keep him happy? I’m pretty damn uninteresting.”

I’m working on it though, because I really am getting sick of that negative little voice in my head. The voice that can occasionally make itself heard over the ramblings of my thoughts. It shoots little negative comments out, such as “You’ll never look as good as that girl there,” when a pretty girl walks by with the “perfect” shape.

Like I said, I’m working on it.

I honestly do believe that once I find a job (knock on wood that it happens soon) and/or start school in September, that negative voice in my head will dull the hell down. Right now I just feel useless and lazy, and I want money. Like soon times.

I’ve got a busy weekend ahead of me; tomorrow I’m cleaning and gutting out my bedroom and getting ready to move…into Kate’s bedroom! That’s after I paint it of course. I wanted to paint it a rich royal purple, or hot pink, or bright green or an orange colour. But those colours don’t fly to well with mom; she doesn’t want any dark colours and the rest of the selection makes her gag. But blue (the room’s current colour) feels cold to me. Maybe I can talk her in to hot pink, or deep purple.

Or red…

And on top of that, Birdman’s having a party tomorrow night, and then theres a huge BBQ this Sunday. Saturday I’ll probably be moving into the room, and/or visiting Kate at her new apartment. And then I get to look forward to next weekends camping trip with Booth! I get to meet his step mom and his best friend :)

Anyways, I’m tired and should start the cleaning bit of this program.

Posted by Sarcastica @ 9:04 pm | 10 Comments  

Weird Day

July 29, 2008 I'm a STAR!, adventures, annoyances, changes, completely random crap, friends, good times, growing up, rainbows and butterflies, ranting & raving, updates

Well today was a really weird day. It started out normal enough; me freaking out because of the college credit card issue (the college website keeps declining my credit card whenever I try to pay for my parking permit). After trying a million times, I gave them a call and explained my situation. They said to come on down and pay for it there, so Booth and I headed out to the big old college town to do just that…

But not before stopping for lunch of course, at my new favourite place to eat; Quiznos. Ever been? Holy crap their subs are freaking amazing! I am currently in love with the turkey swiss melt with a side of their soup. Mmm. Tasty! ANYway, there was this lady in her fifties there eating her lunch. She had been joking around with the staff when Booth and I walked in from her table. She stared at us while we ordered, then I started walking towards the cash and she declared rather loudly; “You could be a model!”

It was a random statement that threw me off guard. I mean strangers never say anything to me usually, unless I’ve done something to piss them off. So like the graceful person idiot I am I said “Huh?”

“You could be a model, you’re gorgeous!” was this [crazy?] lady’s reply. “Don’t be embarrassed about it! Hey, you’re boyfriends pretty damn good looking too!”

And with that she went back to her sub, and Booth and I went back to paying for our meal and getting our own table - sort of out of view of the lady. It was a nice compliments, but they always throw me off. Plus I’m a really self conscious eater, and I totally had it in my head that she would watch me eat or something.

When we sat down at our table, Booth looked at me and smiled and said “How’s my model girlfriend?” My lovely, witty response was “Broke”…you know, since models are rich?

That wasn’t my only strange encounter with a stranger. On the way home from Booth’s after a stressful day of dealing with things way beyond my maturity level (aka my sister), I stopped at McDonald’s for a cheese burger - just because I really wanted one. The drive thru was closed because the truck was there unloading all the deliciously greasy things McDonald’s sells, so I went inside. While I was waiting in the line to be served, this girl in front of me turned around and looked me up and down.

“I really like that shirt!” she said, and then immediately started talking to her friend about how awesome it was (it’s really just a British shirt of Booth’s with a wacky design on it). I was literally just wearing that huge black shirt and a pair of black leggings. Then she proceeded to talk about how gorgeous I was.

“She’s really really pretty, isn’t she?” and she kept on going. It was slightly awkward for me, because this like honestly never ever happens to me. Twice in one day is like, beyond shocking…cause it never ever happens.

Does any one else here have issues accepting compliments? I mean I don’t know what to say. I mumble thank you and blush a lot, cause saying anything else is supposed to be rude…right?

Maybe I’ll sign up for modeling - haha jokes.

And as for Dragon, she’s doing better. She can’t over exert herself and is still waiting for an appointment with the doctor in T.O. Other than that, she just has to take it easy and gain some more weight. Thanks everyone for the get well wishes, they were greatly appreciated by her and when I told her all about my blog readers wishes for her to get better, her face lit up.

It’s funny how in this blogging community, there is less judgment than in the real world by family members. But at least there is still this blogging community - the only thing really keeping me sane!

Posted by Sarcastica @ 8:12 pm | 14 Comments  

Fragile

July 28, 2008 family, life lessons, stuff that bites, updates

The past four days or so I have been extremely busy. This weekend was a really emotional ride, and let me tell you I don’t hope to repeat it any time soon.

It was busy because I had a lot of plans; hanging with my friends, going to one of my best guy buds surprise birthday parties, and trying to figure out why the college’s website was declining my brand new credit card every time I attempted to pay for my parking pass. I was¬†- and still am - stressed out and worried about my whole money situation. It feels like I’ve given out a thousand resumes and haven’t gotten one call back yet. I’ve been searching for a job for months now, really I have. Every place doesn’t want to hire me as I can’t physically do all the aspects of their job. I didn’t get the job at the gas station because I can’t go around the entire property and collect garbage from the huge bins.

Anyways, I was sort of taking that out on Booth. I know, I shouldn’t have. He got really upset because he was frustrated that there wasn’t anything he could do to help calm my nerves and solve my money woes (although he didn’t realize that just by being there and listening to me bitch helps enough). So by the end of the weekend we had gotten into several arguments and had a good nice long chat and cry about it, so now things are good.

Sunday night I headed home since I haven’t spent any time there in a few days. I had a bad feeling around 11pm and decided to call Booth. Turns out my bad feeling was right; Dragon had a heart attack and Booth and her husband were on their way to the hospital. Thinking Dragon’s two little boys with special needs were at home with her 15 year old daughter, who was understandably freaking out and upset, I took off to Dragon’s house. The boys had actually gone to the hospital with Booth though, not wanting to leave their mothers side. So Dragon’s daughter, her boyfriend and I all piled into my car and drove to the hospital to meet up with everyone.

Dragon’s “fine” now, she saw the doctor and she did indeed have a heart attack. Technically she died several times before arriving to the hospital as she had stopped breathing and had no pulse. The sound of her 7 year old screaming eventually brought her back, because she is hell bent on sticking around to care for her kids.

Her doctor wanted her to spend the night in the hospital and then get sent to a cardiac doctor in T.O today, but she refused to stay there because she wanted to go home with her kids. Probably not the best idea, but there is no changing Dragon’s mind once it’s set.

Now I know I’ve mentioned Dragon’s numerous health problems before; she’s got a really bad heart, has mini strokes all the time, and several chronic illness disorders that she’s had since birth. This heart attack still came as a shock to everyone, especially Booth and I. We all look at Dragon to be made of stone and we’re all so sure that nothing can ail her like that because of her sheer will power.

Booth was understandably shook, and it took a while to calm him down. Even when Dragon took a cab home at 3am and sat with us in the garage, he was shook. Of course he was telling her what actually happened to her, since she couldn’t really remember. Reliving that must have been tough.

So I’m exhausted today, but I’m going to stick around for a bit and pick up some slack since Dragon needs to relax. I hope my parents don’t get pissed at me for it, but its easier to help Dragon out now rather than waiting for it to be too late. Her kids are way to young to loose their mother, and they need her so much.

I guess this is another reminder of just how fragile life really is.

Posted by Sarcastica @ 10:11 am | 7 Comments  

Open Road

July 24, 2008 I'm a STAR!, adventures, changes, completely random crap, good times, growing up, updates

What I’ve done in the past three days:

  • I had the interview with the gas station on Tuesday - it went well I guess. I don’t know if I have the job yet, I’ll call tomorrow…my fingers are crossed!
  • After my interview, I saw Batman: The Dark Knight with Booth, his sister and her boyfriend. Totally freaking awesome movie! I think it’s the best performance that Heath Ledger has done ever. I loved watching him portray The Joker, it honestly gave me chills! And made me all the more sad that he’s gone :( Go see it. Now. *whips drool from face*
  • Yesterday I dealt with some medical things. After that I went to dinner at my favourite restaurant with Booth :D it was tasty. I love the Alfredo :)
  • Today I hung out with Peterpops and went to see Hancock :) it was a pretty awesome movie too, not as good as The Dark Knight mind you but still pretty damn good. And funny!
  • I’ve been hoping that I’m gonna get that job at the gas station…cause clearly after this week, I need it :)

Bullets save lives. Well…these kinds of bullets do anyway. I’m tired, so I’m going to unwind by reading blogs. Then going downstairs to read Sick Girl Speaks by Tiffany Christensen.

Posted by Sarcastica @ 8:54 pm | 5 Comments  

Rulez are for Foolz

July 22, 2008 I'm a STAR!, LOL, Sarcastica!, adventures, blog whore, changes, completely random crap, good times, growing up, life lessons, memories, milestones, rainbows and butterflies, updates

I woke up this morning and just knew that the weather sucked. I could feel it in my aching bones; the dampness, the rain. I knew my chances of getting my license were slimmer then they would have been if the sun was brightly shining. For one, I’ve never driven in rain before. Like ever. I’ve only ever been allowed to drive if it’s not raining. A lot of good that did me.

The drive up to where I was taking my test seemed to take forever. I feared I wouldn’t make it in time for my 8:50am appointment. The clouds threatened to spill at any moment, only I already had come to the conclusion - and somewhat accepted - that they would release their heavy droplets the moment I began my road test.

True enough, after I had filled out the paper work and was sitting waiting in my car for the person who would decide my future of driving (or not driving), it began to rain. Not heavily mind you, but enough so that my heart started to sink. It was the kind of rain that you just knew would pick up.

The person who was doing the drive test for me was a female. She seemed nice enough on first glance; middle aged, yellowish hair and rather short. Course it was rather hard to see her as she approached my car*. It was as if the Heavens or Mother Nature or whoever is control of such things as the weather had decided to watch me scrim in nervous anticipation by making the rain pool down from the clouds right as she looked at my car. Not a very promising sign, one would normally take this sign and already assume they had failed. I was no different, only I promised myself I would give it my best go and try not to let the rain get the best of me, because that’s just what Mother Nature (or the Heavens) wanted.

I felt I did a good job with the whole driving bit, it was definitely the three point turns, hill parking and parallel parking that did me in. The first thing she made me try was the hill park. I wasn’t close enough to the curb. The second thing she made me do was a three point turn on a deserted dead end street. I hit the curb with my back tires on that one. Then there was the parallel park. My curb judgment was, again, off and I was too far away from the curb.

Needless to say, I was feeling very disheartened when she made me drive back to the drive test building. I was sure I had failed, especially when she “had” to tell me when to go on my left turn onto the road that leads to the drive test building. I actually knew when to go, I suppose there are just some people who feel the need to tell you anyway. Or maybe it’s because I almost accidentally went down the wrong road.

She made me pull into a parking stall, but pedestrians threw off my observation skills and I had to back out to straighten myself. I checked quickly but I don’t think she saw because she was busy writing when I looked, so it looked like I didn’t check. It wasn’t very promising. She didn’t declare proudly that I passed like the one lady had to the guy next to me when he parked beside me.

“Well,” she said, pausing while she wrote something down. “Your curb judgment was a little off. You need to check and move your car slower when doing the three point turn, that way you don’t hit the curb. But you did do your driving very well and followed the posted speed signs as well as the lights…”

I thought my heart couldn’t sink any further then it already had, I mean starting out with negatives is a total sign of failure. Or at least in most cases, and I definitely wasn’t hopeful. That’s why I nearly shit my pants a moment later.

“…but you made it. Take this paper inside and the ladies there will help you with it,” she said, handing me the test sheet, where in the box for the “pass” was check marked. Stunned, I thanked her and we both got out of the car. I wished her a good day and went inside the building, staring at the paper as I walked. I was very confused…sure I hadn’t heard her right. I passed? Really? After I screwed up on basically like all the parking things she asked me to do?

I suppose what saved me was my driving in a straight line skill and the ambulance that drove by on the opposite side of the road with it’s lights flashing, because I signaled and pulled over to the right as soon as I saw it. Perhaps that earned me some brownie points. Funny that I would encounter an ambulance for the first time ever I’m driving while doing a drive test.

I got to drive home and my mom and I stopped off at Tims for a celebratory coffee and bagel. I suppose she’s relieved that she doesn’t have to drive me places any more, I know I sure am. Although apparently there are still “rules”, such as I can’t come and go as I please. Sigh. I’m still holding out hoping that having my G2 will mean a little bit more freedom. Who knows though. My parents definitely like rules.

Now I’m off to my interview at the gas station. Hopefully today’s my day and I get the job :) that would make me happy. After my interview I’m going to Booth’s to surprise him. He doesn’t know I passed yet, so shh don’t tell him anybody!

*My car is actually my parents car in which they let me drive.

Posted by Sarcastica @ 9:13 am | 14 Comments  

Typo-clock in the Morning

July 21, 2008 I'm a STAR!, Sarcastica!, blog whore, changes, completely random crap, insecurties, issues, opinions, ranting & raving, updates

Bah. I just replied to comments over at this post, with quite a view spelling and grammatical errors. Hey! Don’t hate on me, it’s only 10ish in the morning and I just woke up. I probably wouldn’t have been up for another two hours or so [I was up late reading last night, a really good book called The Blue Girl by Charles de Lint - check it out if you like fairy folklore stories and fantasy] but I got a phone call from the gas station.

So backing it up a bit, since I haven’t updated in like four days…my interview with the gas station went swell - or at least I think so, I had my interviewer laughing and smiling the entire time. But I didn’t get the job because they “don’t need anybody now”. Personally, I think it’s because I told him I was unable to do the physical aspect of the job; which is go to all the parking lots and collect garbage. I have issues opening bottles of pop. I think they just found someone able to do everything they wanted, never mind if I have super awesome skills on cash and I’m like the best friendliest person in the world. Never mind that I treat all costumers like the wickedly awesome and interesting people they are - even the assholes. Although I do have a slight attitude with the asshole costumers, but I swear it’s nothing detectable.

So ya, anyways back to the phone call; I had already found out they didn’t need anybody, but today I got a call from the Eastbound gas station owned by the same guy. They are still looking for someone and wanted to know if I would like to have an interview with them. Hells yes! Sure as shit I want a chance at getting a job and making some money so I can pay off my Visa bill and start getting myself a good credit rating! Hells yes I want money for dollar beer nights with the girls! Hells yes I wanna throw a bunch of money at Bell and say cut my damn cell phone off, then sneak off to Rogers and get a brand new plan with Booth! [We both talked about it, and it makes sense; the only people we actually call are each other, so if we can get a plan with unlimited texting and calling to each other than that would be just peachy keen swell don't cha think?]

But ya, my interview is tomorrow at lunch time. After my G2 road test. Good golly I hope I pass my G2 road test! I need my damn license so bad, in case this job doesn’t work out and I need to search further. But I’ve decided I’m not going to stress out and freak out about it; I’ll practice today and I’ll do my best tomorrow. If my best isn’t what they think it should be and I fail, I’ll book it for another day and practice even harder. It makes sense that they wouldn’t give out licenses to people who don’t know what they’re doing, so why argue the matter?

I will go in being me. Same with the interview tomorrow. I won’t take out the hoop in my lip because I don’t have anything to change it to (since there are like brownies living in Dragon’s house and all of my lip rings have gone missing. Truthfully, I probably vacuumed the lot of them up). Not to mention, it’s finally healing haha so I’ll leave it. Besides, this is how I wear it normally. I will ask about their policy on facial piercings, and if they have one I will wear a retainer to work. No big.

Bah. I wish I could just speed up time and get tomorrow over with. Having to do your G2 road test and have an interview in the same day will most likely be nerve wracking, although I’m trying to approach it in an “I don’t care” attitude - but the thing is I really do care. I really want to get my license, and I’ll be disappointed in myself if I don’t. And I really want and need to get this job, and I’ll be even more disappointed in myself if I don’t get it more so than being disappointed because I didn’t get my license. Jobs aren’t exactly plentiful here lately, and if I screw it up on more time then I don’t know where else to apply.

I’ve GOTTA get my smart serve. Maybe I’ll do that online this week, and then I can start applying at restaurants.

Anyways, while I continue to wake up I’m going to catch up on my blog reading :) Yay Google Reader!! Without it I would be screwed.

Posted by Sarcastica @ 8:35 am | 8 Comments  

Fancy Don’t Let Me Down

July 17, 2008 I'm a STAR!, Sarcastica!, annoyances, blog whore, changes, completely random crap, family, growing up, insecurties, issues, life lessons, opinions, ranting & raving, stuff that bites, updates

I’m not in the perkiest of moods right now, so I apologize ahead of time if this post sounds like I’m complaining too much - because I probably am. Before I get any hate mail though, I realize I don’t have it bad as some people. But it’s in human nature to feel sorry for yourself, isn’t it? Whatever. Keep in mind that this is my venting place; where I do that thing called venting. Sometimes that means I complain. Ya. If you don’t like it, nobody asked you to read it. [But for the record I do love my readers and commenters and lurkers and all that so don't take that as a personal attack because it's really not directed at anybody].

And with that promising introduction, I’ll move on to my day/week/month, because the emotions of today really tie in to whats happened this week…and this month and last month really. I think I can safely say that I have a very hard time forgiving and forgetting. I mean, I can forgive someone for something they’ve done…but I have a hard time forgetting. Considering everyone else has those issues too, we’re in quite the predicament aren’t we?

Ok first things first; I’m not too healthy recently. Physically and mentally, as much as I hate to admit it. I technically should be blogging about my health woes over at my health blog, but I’m really too lazy to update that regularly lately. I’m still waiting on that surgery date, and I have new health concerns. There is a bone growth on the back of my left upper leg that has been causing me a lot of pain the past few months, more so this month. It’s gotten rapidly bigger. I didn’t even notice it to be honest, as I try to block out pains and not complain about things. Often when I mention an ache or pain, it’s only after it gets rapidly bigger and causes more pain. Unfortunately, this seems to happen quite a bit and I don’t like appearing like a complainer, so I tend to attempt to keep it to myself. Hence why I can get really bitchy for like no apparent reason, which gets everyone else around me mad at me. So anyway, yesterday I showed Dragon and Booth the tumour. Dragon is a cancer survivor, she’s in remission now, and she told me to go get an ultrasound on it because it has veins and it’s in a soft tissue area of my body. She got a bad feeling when she looked at it, and warned me that it could be cancerous if its growing that quickly and has veins.

Now I’m not saying it is, but damn isn’t that freaky? I’m 19. I don’t want to think about shit like that. But cancer can spread quickly, and I really don’t think I should ignore it. Especially when it’s causing me this much pain. Like sitting down now at the computer is uncomfortable and painful, but so is putting my legs up. I can’t seem to win lately. Anyways, I called my specialist and left a message with my concerns. I realize that its not the area they are going to operate on, but I’m thinking that maybe they should take a look at it. Maybe they could fit an extra area in, and since I don’t have my surgery date yet they can allow for more time…maybe. I also called my family doctor to get in and get a form for an ultrasound on it, just to make sure there is no cancer. It could just be a bone growth thats growing fast and causing discomfort to the muscles and veins around it. I have an appointment tomorrow morning so we’ll see how that goes.

Emotionally, I feel drained. Like I’ve been screaming to be heard and no one’s listening to me. I know, very emo-ish. Whatever though, it’s how I feel. I’m tired of trying to defend myself and Booth. I’m tried of people holding grudges and acting like Booth is a horrible person, because I know he’s not. Nobody’s really even given him a chance, and now they certainly don’t give him the time of day and it hurts me. But I’m done trying to appease everyone, and trying to make them see how stupid it is to hate Booth. Just because he hasn’t gone to college yet does not mean he’s going no where. I’m not in college, am I? Not yet anyway. I’m still going somewhere, aren’t I? Maybe they secretly feel I’m not going to go anywhere though, and that’s why there worried. I don’t know. What I do know is that Booth does have goals and plans. He’ll be in the Business program in college by February, yes, he has to take some extra courses in high school but after that he can get into any program he wants. That won’t even take a month to do, since they will be correspondence courses. I’m taking Dental Reception and Admin in September. I’ve got my tuition paid and student card picture taken, I just need to get my schedule and books and perhaps a tour of the college and I’m good to go.

So why is he still going no where? I know complete assholes who have University degrees. Booth isn’t a complete asshole. Sure, he said some hurtful things that one night but get over it already - so did everyone else. He’s sorry about that and I don’t know how many times I have to repeat that. But I’m done repeating it, and I’m done trying to defend myself, Booth, and our relationship. The bottom line is that I love him, and he’s going to be a part of my life for a very long time - so get used to him. It makes me unhappy to have everyone “disliking him” and thinking he’s “no good” for me. No good for me would be someone who physically and emotionally abuses me and treats me like shit - but Booth doesn’t and never will. He treats me so amazingly that I smile each day. He makes me feel beautiful, and I’ve never really felt beautiful. I’ve always felt like a freak. I’ve never felt confident and beautiful enough to wear shorts in public, but now I don’t care because he says I’m beautiful and I believe him.

Complete strangers see how good we are for each other, why can’t my loved ones? Ya, we’ve got a long way to go…we both need to get our educations and stable jobs. But that doesn’t happen over night.

Speaking of stable jobs, I called that gas station today. The manager who interviewed me isn’t in until tomorrow, so I don’t know if I got that job. I called West 49 too, and they already have “enough people”, but I can feel free to submit a resume in the future. That sucks so much…I really wanted that job. So today I spent half the day on job bank sending resumes to potential employers. Hopefully somebody calls me back.

Sigh. I feel a lot less bleh now that I’ve blogged about these things. Now I can unwind and catch up on my blogosphere readings, including new blogs :) I love discovering new bloggers…it’s always so refreshing and cool.

Edit/P.S. I’ve decided to use my Google Reader again. I have so many blogs that I read that its impossible to read all in one week with this dial up connection. Now I’ll be able to read everything! Don’t know why I stopped using my Google Reader in the first place (probably laziness) <3

Posted by Sarcastica @ 9:19 pm | 8 Comments  

Back in Black

July 15, 2008 I'm a STAR!, Sarcastica!, blog whore, changes, completely random crap, good times, growing up, ranting & raving, updates

I’m home today, for the first time in a while hehe. Well I’m generally home at night, just not during the day. There isn’t a heck of a lot to do here, since we didn’t open up the pool this year :( so I’m basically just going to catch up on my blog reading/updating today, go on Facebook, paint my nails black (to match my toe nails), continue to take awesome pictures of myself (because I’m hawt - didn’t ya know?) and perhaps clean my room. I don’t know about the cleaning my room part yet, cause taking pictures of myself and the blogosphere are far more important than cleanliness.

I’ve already had my interview with the gas station today, and I think that went well. I’m pretty sure he liked me, because we were joking around and he was friendly and stuff. The only way I can see myself not getting the job is if they find someone who is able to do the ground maintenance (like garbage and stuff) because I can’t physically do that what with my MHE. I’ll know by Thursday regardless. My fingers are crossed because I definitely need the money.

So ya, this summer isn’t exactly going the way I expected it to. For one, I expected to have at least a part time job and be saving up some money. That’s yet to happen, because some idiot made a typo on the resume that said I was in high school from 2007 until 2007. Ya. Cool eh. I’m that smart that I didn’t even realize the mistake until I had sent it out to like a hundred different places.

Annnd it’s only like a week until I do my drive test. Hopefully I pass, cause I need that license!

P.S. I got my ears pierced again at the lope for a second time. Booth did it yesterday, and he’s wicked at it :)

Posted by Sarcastica @ 8:47 am | 7 Comments  

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