Hope Chest
So I have some exciting news…which I’m only blogging about so early because I’m really freaking excited about it 
In April, Booth and I are getting an apartment
Ya I know, I’ve only been dating Booth since February, but it’s not like we’re getting an apartment next week…we’re getting one in ten months from now. By that point, we will have been together for a year and a bit. We are both starting to save up money now for first and last as well as some furniture. I’m excited about it; although I know many people will probably say “it’s too soon for you to be tied down like that”, or whatever…but I’ll be the judge of that. I know better than anyone else when something is too soon for me.
Besides, like Kiwi said…”Some times the best things in life happened in an instant you know. Not everything takes a life time to develop. Living in the moment makes the best memories“. She’s right.
So after Christmas, Booth and I will start collecting things for our apartment. As of right now, I’m going to focus on getting my license and finding a job that pays decent yet fits my college schedule. Today I drove to my grandma’s, and I think I did well. On the way home, my mom didn’t correct me on anything - and on the way there she barely had to correct me. All she really did was give directions and make small reminders (that I already knew). I think I will definitely be ready for my test by the 22nd.
I still haven’t heard back from the hospital yet. I’m hoping I won’t have to have that surgery until early August. I really want to get my license as soon as possible. I love driving, I really don’t know why I feared it in the first place. I’m way more comfortable behind the wheel now, and I don’t get anxious at all. For long trips I do get a little restless, but meh. I will just have to have rest stops where I can get out and move around.
But ya, I just thought I’d mention how excited I am to be getting my own place soon! And *if* Booth and I break up (which I sincerely doubt we will and I will seriously give up on love if thats the case) then I’ll still get an apartment anyway. The one we’re looking at is affordable and in the nice area of town, so yay. But ya like I said, I doubt Booth and I will break up. I really do believe he’s in it for the long haul, after all the drama and crap that’s been going on, he’s still here and still treating me way better than I deserve!
Posted by Sarcastica @
5:19 pm |
Babbles
So lots of new and exciting news in the world of Sarcastica I have a car! Well sort of…it’s my mom’s old Hyundai - she got a new Ford Focus and I get her old car for school and stuff. And I also booked my G2 driving test for the middle of July! Hopefully my upcoming surgery will be after that date…because I’d like to have my license before I go into the hospital, just to know that I have it…ya dig? I still will probably have to wrap up my drivers ed in cars and stuff, but they say you can do that even if you have your G2 and the discount on insurance will still apply once you graduate from the course so no worries there.
Today I got a lot accomplished. I applied to a temp agency that provides temporary administrative jobs to people, hopefully I get in. You can make a lot of money - especially if you work in government offices hehe. I also decided to get in some driving hours, and apply at stores at the mall. I put out 8 resumes at my favourite mall stores and got an interview right away with West 49 next week so hopefully that pans out. It’s only a seasonal position but there is the opportunity to get hired on all year round since I’ll be going to school near by.
So ya, things are looking up. I’m hoping my surgery won’t be until early August (or preferably not at all but I do need it) that way I can get my license and get a job with West 49. Hopefully I’ll be trained before I go in, and hopefully I can still work after a week of recovering from my surgery. It shouldn’t take me too long, I could probably manage well enough with crutches on cash. I need to pay that Visa bill haha.
Posted by Sarcastica @
7:48 pm |
Math. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Lately the only somewhat creative titles I can come up with are song lyrics. Oh well, it bets accidentally repeating an already used title, right?
I’ve been thinking about the future again, and my stomach is twisted in nervous knots. Don’t worry, I’m not going to back out of this program - I do really want it! But I’m nervous as hell because I have to take Accounting! Readers who have been around for like ever remember my high school days of fighting to get by in Math. Math has never been my strong suit. I probably wouldn’t be so insecure in Math if my stupid high school teachers didn’t act as if I was completely number stunned. But they did, and they kept saying to me “choose a career that doesn’t need Math”.
I won’t lie, I was a very difficult student to help in Math. I didn’t need help in any of my other subjects, so I was extremely bitchy and difficult to the teachers who tried to help me. I hate not getting something, and I really didn’t (and still don’t) get Math.
Whenever I am told to answer a Math problem, even if it’s the simplest question in the world, my mind freezes and I have mini mental freakouts. I can’t get past that to focus on the question and solution, and I’m convinced my mind has blocked out all the solutions anyway. Does that make sense to anybody? Because it doesn’t to me. I’ve never known anybody to have panic attacks when faced with a math problem. I guess I really am one of a kind (said sarcastically, of course).
So needless to say, I’m very nervous about school now since looking at the classes list. I still want to be a Dental Receptionist and Administrator, but I was really hoping to be on the honor role and top of the class (since that would REALLY prove a lot of people wrong about me). Gah. I guess I’ll just have to work my butt off and get a tutor very early on.
Posted by Sarcastica @
9:58 am |
Proof I’m Tech-Stupid - among other things
So my friends, it looks like my baby must undergo some serious healthcare. I’m talking about my lovely laptop. Me being the tech-stupid loser I am didn’t realize that my AVG 4 Free’s virus vault was overflowing with, well, viruses. I had no clue that you had to go into that vault and clear out all the viruses AVG caught. Um, Avitable…you could have told me that. And that Spybot you told me to put on my computer? Ya it allowed so many Trojans, my computer is whacked. Too bad I can’t stay mad at hairy gorilla men, since they are so rare.
Anyways, Ears is taking a look at my laptop tonight. Booth will be standing beside my baby while Ears tries his best to fix all that I’ve done wrong to my darling laptop. Hopefully he will succeed, and get rid of all those viruses. If not, well I guess I have to wipe it clean and start all over. That means I will lose all of my stories. And pictures. But more importantly stories. So ya, thanks Avitable lmfao. I’m totally kidding, but next time folks, make sure that advice is followed by a huge email explaining how to use the products. I’m seriously tech-stupid!
So last night I went out to dollar beer night with some friends. It really was not my scene, can you say ew? The girls’ bathroom was DISGUSTING with toilet bowl water overflowing all over the floor and drunk chicks falling everywhere - I mean maybe that would appeal to some guys but definitely not to me. I had some guy hump me from behind when I was trying to get back to where Booth was - not once, but four times. He apologized after every time to make it look as if the people behind him were shoving, but really, how can your frontal area be the only area that gets pushed forward? *Shivers* Unfortunately there is no footage of me falling around and wearing a crown. Kiwi forgot the crown and I didn’t bring my camera.
The sleep over that I had with the girls was that - a sleep over. We all passed out as soon as we got in. Then one of my friends dropped me off at Booth’s house on her way to work so I could hang out with Booth. We went to the garden center with Dragon and the boys and gardened. Yup, I gardened! Not very well mind you, but I’m learning!! I’m sure I’ll get better. I sort of want to work on Mom’s garden next…although that would be a lot of work haha. Talk about weeds…haha.
And tomorrow Booth is taking me out for a movie! We’re going to see The Incredible Hulk. I’m excited, we haven’t had a date night in a while - since we saw You Don’t Mess With The Zohan (hilarious movie, I recommend it, especially if you like Adam Sandler humour - this is by far his best movie). I finally got all those pictures to upload onto Facebook (before my laptop was discovered to be riddled with viruses that is). The above picture is one that a lot of people like, it’s one of those “totally caught the moment” photo. I wish that the zoom wasn’t on, and that it wasn’t so close to our faces…but other than that I love it. What do you guys think? Hmmm?
Sorry…gushing again. I’ll stop now; I’ve got to finish reading The Host by Stephenie Meyer anyway!
Posted by Sarcastica @
8:20 pm |
Birthdays and Hospitals
Yesterday, I went to my grandparents house for dinner to celebrate my birthday/fathers day. As usual, Granny put together an amazing meal of turkey, potatoes, stuffing, and other mouth watering foods (that I’m craving right now). There was a choice of birthday cake or pie for desert, and conversation flowed. Not so much from me…I was really bummed out that Booth couldn’t be there to join in on the festivities. He really wanted to be, and I really wanted him there…but my parents decided due to some altercations he would not attend. So I didn’t get to spend my birthday with him, but thats okay…I’m sure there will be many more.
I got lovely cards from my grandparents and parents, and my grandparents promised to take me out shopping when they get back to their cruise. That will be interesting, because I’m not too sure Granny likes my “style”. Oh well, I do need more “professional” clothes for interviews and perhaps office jobs (if I can snag one). Mom and Dad bought me a really wicked Samsung S760 camera, and I’ve already taken a few pictures with it. The big test will be tomorrow when I get to hang out with Booth for the day. We’re going job hunting at the mall, I’ll be handing in my resume to the temp agency that provides temporary jobs in offices for people. Dragon told me about it; and I think it would be perfect, I can be on their call list from now until forever if I wanted too…only accepting job offers when I’m available. So I could apply now and still have my surgery and a job. Wicked huh? Booth is also applying at the temp agency, only for more “manly” work - haha. This is the perfect second job for him because he has the tattoo shop plus extra work whenever it’s needed.
My pre-op appointment was today. It went…well I guess. They drew blood to test for clotting, only the first time the nurse tried it, I guess the tube thing had a hole in it and all my blood leaked out onto the pillow so we had to try again in the other arm. That was pretty interesting. They did some heart tests and sent me for a chest x-ray to ensure that everything is hunky dory with my heart and respiratory system. I still don’t have a date yet, my doctor’s secretary will call when she has one. I’m hoping it’ll be sooner rather than later, I want to be all healed and ready to go for September.
I’m pretty excited to go back to school. Although I am slightly nervous about taking accounting programs…I’m sure McPout will help me out, since she’s really good at that kind of thing. If not, I’ll get a tutor or something.
So JD would like me to go to a bar with her this Thursday. I’m still not too sure I want to go…yes, I would enjoy some time seeing my old friends…but at the same time, I already know the bar scene will not be for me. Especially not now in this “day and age”. Just saying that makes me feel old, but it’s so true! Bars aren’t safe. The ones that don’t have metal detectors are dangerous because people can sneak weapons in and like stab you and the ones that do have metal detectors are even more dangerous because everyone knows when you don’t have a weapon on you to defend yourself. It’s a lose-lose situation in my opinion. There is so much violence in bars now, it gets worse and worse every year. I blame rap music and the media for our generation thinking they are so tough and such gangstas.
Anyways, I’d rather just go out for dinner at a restaurant and order a drink. I know that’s slightly more expensive, but there is less of a risk of being attacked. We’ll see though, I can’t be 19 and not go to a bar ever…I’ll just make sure I have my group of boys to protect me, especially Booth. He would never let anything bad happen to me, even when we’re sitting in Dragon’s garage he pays attention to all details to ensure I’m safe. Heck, that boy has saved me from my own feet too many times to count! He really is my knight in shining Armour, hehe.
Bah. I miss him 
good thing I get to see him tomorrow. And I’ll get to see him Thursday, if we go out with JD.
Tonight my plan is to continue reading The Host by Stephenie Meyer - its totally awesome! I can’t think Avitable enough for getting me it!! He claims its possibly better than the Twilight series…but although The Host is awesome, in my personal opinion… Twilight still kicks some serious ass. Perhaps I’m biased though, since I fell in love with like all the characters…
Anyways, read them all if you haven’t yet or I will send my minions after each and every one of you!
Posted by Sarcastica @
7:27 pm |
Protected: So…I’m 19 eh
Posted by Sarcastica @
9:35 am | Enter your password to view comments
Throw the party of the month? Nah the party of the year!
Yeah…I’m quoting Aaron Carter. That just goes to show how desperate I am for a freaking title today. I’m surprised I can even still come up with those things! Soon I’ll give up and just start numbering them or something.
Anyways, only 10 more days until I’m legal! Woot! Yep, the countdown has most definitely begun. Normally, I don’t get overly excited about my birthday…but this time I’m going to be 19! I’ll be able to drink freely at restaurants and bars! No more fake id for me, haha just kidding I never actually had a fake id. I didn’t know where to get them…
So since I haven’t actually thrown a party since like the late ’90s early ’00s, I wanted to make this year my year for a wicked awesome party. It helps that I turn legal this year, therefore I’m hoping my parents wouldn’t forbid drinking. My friends and I are all at that age now where we’ve been drinking [somewhat illegally] for 4 years now and getting rip roaring drunk is no longer fun. Plus I know and trust all of my friends to not make idiots out of themselves.
I want to have a huge camp out/BBQ/pool party. Obviously the pool party would happen before everyone started drinking - I’m not dumb and I don’t have my lifeguard certificate. Plus I don’t know many people who want to actually start drinking at 2pm. Except for the lushes, who wouldn’t if nobody else is. I already know that I would not be drinking, and neither would Booth (since we want to combine our parties and friends). We both would be too paranoid to drink. We definitely know how to control a party but still make it fun - heck we did it to McShout’s party until she decided to sneak guys back in. That wouldn’t be an issue at my party because the guys would still be there. One side of the lawn would be girl’s camping central and the other side of the lawn would be guy’s camping central. We wouldn’t have to worry about people sneaking into each others tents because that sort of looses the appeal by the time you turn 17 or 18. Besides, half of us girls already see our guys on a regular basis and girl time is way cooler 
I’m hoping that my parents remember the fact that I have camped co-ed before with the recreational group. Heck I used to date a fellow volunteer and we never did anything while camping.
Anyways, I have no idea when I’m going to throw this wicked awesome party [or if I'm even allowed to have it for that matter] since I’m still waiting for a surgery date and the weekend of my birthday seems to be filled up. I’m going to be babysitting Grinch’s boys and Sunday is father’s day, you can’t really walk into that hungover (or not hungover in my case, just super tired from making sure nobody does stupid things). The following weekend I was hoping to go to Karen’s place with Booth so Karen could spread some of her HTML coding, graphic making magic.
Then on July 1st I’m planning on going on a road trip with Dragon to see Theory of a Deadman 
I love their music, although unfortunately I don’t own any albums their music is quite catchy though! July 8th is my trip to a theme park, and July 12th is totally Edgefest!
Hopefully I can do all these things before my surgery. It sort of bums me out that I made plans for a wicked awesome summer and then might not get to do half the stuff I planned because I might be a tad bit laid up. All my other summers have sort of been dab and boring…especially last summer, when I was working full time at the rec group and too exhausted to read let alone go to concerts or throw parties.
This year thus far I’m jobless. I sort of put my job hunting on hold because, as my mom pointed out, why start a job you’re just going to have to quit for a surgery? It doesn’t make much sense now does it? Not to mention, everything is basically taken up for this summer. All those good jobs, gone.
Ugh. So many issues, so little time. I still have to figure out what I’m doing with the rest of my life. I wish I could be Peter Pan and never have to grow up haha I’m sure thats a bit unreasonable, but I do wish that there wasn’t so much pressure being put on me to make a decision - and the right one at that. How do you know what the right one is?
I have a feeling there is going to be another depression anyway, and then everyone will be out of the job and education won’t matter at all. I’ve already started digging my hole, how bout you? Humans have screwed up royally and I just know we’re going to pay for it. I hope not in my lifetime though!
Jeez I have such a bleak outlook on things. Meh. Comes with being a pessimist/realitist (my invented word for someone who acknowledges that bad things can happen and most likely will).
Posted by Sarcastica @
11:17 am |
Smiling
Ok so be prepared for one of those totally gushy intros, in which I blab on and on about how lucky I am. Deal with it…I’m happy, so you all get to listen to me ramble about why I’m happy.
As I previously mentioned, today was Booth’s birthday. I came over bright and early with breakfast in bed (which was half a tea and half a bagel since I don’t have two dimes to rub together). I gave him the card and present that I got him - and his face lit up for both. The shoes were pretty sweet if I do say so myself, and his eyebrow lifted at the card I got him. I figured out why at dinner…apparently the singing card I got that sings “Lady Marmalade” means “will you have sex with me tonight?” in French. Yes people, I had no idea what that very popular song meant until Dragon, my mother and Booth’s mother told me what it meant. How mortifying. If I had known what that meant, I wouldn’t have excitedly shown Booth’s mother and my mother at dinner. Anyways, after I gave him his gift…his mother came over and took the two of us out for lunch. It was really good - I got the Balsamic Chicken Penne and Booth got the Chicken Penne meal. Booth’s mom got a salad and we ordered a fruity cocktail (which I loved) for me and beer for Booth.
After lunch, I actually went and had a nap because I really haven’t been feeling so hot lately. My back and bones have just been killing me and my lovely lady cramps don’t help the matter. Around 7 or 8 my mom came over for some dinner and cake and we were joined by Booth’s mom as well. That was fun. It was good seeing my mom out of the house socially. Even though she doesn’t really know Dragon and Booth’s mom, I just thought she should be out of the house and hanging out. We just basically talked about how I really need to work on my French, Booth and how awesome he is, the party on the weekend, and Dragon’s worries about her still broken and painful fingers. Mom had to leave early, but I’m hoping she’ll want to hang out with Dragon and Booth’s mom again.
After everyone left, Dragon, Booth and I were chilling in the garage talking about my future endeavours. Now I know this is going to come as a shock to some people (total sarcasm there by the way folks) but I’m not too sure I want to do Child and Youth Work. Like I would really love to be a Child and Youth Worker, but I honestly don’t know if I can handle it. I don’t think I could be the kind of person who is able to get attached without getting attached and leave work dramas at work. I would totally be the type of person who brings it home and thinks about it and what I could have done. So on Sunday I applied for the General Business Admin program at the same college I was planning on attending. Business is one of those programs that you can definitely branch off into and that there is endless of possibilities for. I can branch off in to focusing more on writing or whatever I want to do really. I’ve always thought it would be cool to have my own business, or at least have extended knowledge in business.
I can just picture all of my readers slapping their foreheads and exclaiming in strained voices “Holy crap Sarcastica! Pick something already!”. Yes I know, I’ve changed my mind a lot. I still want to do all of my ideas, but here’s the list broken down for ya:
- There isn’t a whole heck of a lot of steady work in Journalism.
- It’s really a 50/50% chance if I make it as a writer…
- I am completely and totally the kind of person who would take home my work as a Child and Youth Worker. I don’t think I would be able to get the situations of clients out of my head, and if I couldn’t help a child I would certainly stress about it. I also don’t think I’m very good at it anymore…since I suck with dealing with all that stuff that’s going on now.
So you can see why I would be considering doing a totally completely different program, one that I hadn’t really given much consideration over in the past. I really think taking a Business course would be a smart move. I think I would like it a lot. It may not be what I had in mind, but it could be better. It would be more easier on my bones.
Now all I have to do is call the college and see if I even qualify for that program. If not…well I really don’t know what I’m going to do. Probably take the courses required to get in, because 3 years in school is a lot of money to throw away.
I think the school boards made a bad decision when they took away grade 13. Somebody slap me already, holy frig.
Anyways, I’m super excited now and full of non-stop chatter because I stole the Internet hookup in Booth’s room and brought my laptop over, so now I can go online and actually give this blog a somewhat decent post because I don’t feel bad for “hogging” the computer
Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I’m staying over at Dragon’s because tomorrow she has an appointment at the fracture clinic about her wrist, and Booth has to drive her so I have to watch the boys - which I have no problem doing. I plan on cleaning up a bit for Dragon (and Booth’s bedroom is SUPER messy - that’s where I have to stay when I come over. He gets the couch) and work on my story ideas. Dragon and I were talking tonight about how she also loves writing. Hopefully she thinks I’m good…that’s one of my biggest insecurities and why I don’t let people read my work. I’m terrified they’ll start laughing and be all like “OMG Sarcastica you SUCK!”
And this evening’s treat; the random-ass sappy story of the day: Before going downstairs for one finial smoke, Booth came over to me and kissed me, paused after a moment and looked down at my shirt collar. I was confused and looked down and guess what was there? The claddagh ring he bought me like 3 weeks ago that I lost after only having it for three days!! I missed it so much, even after only wearing it for a solid two days. He found it when cleaning his room - it was at the bottom of the garbage bag from when I had been cleaning his room. It was so movie-like and sweet. I totally feel like a sap ass!
Posted by Sarcastica @
10:44 pm |
Coasting
Things have been rather crazy for the past couple of days and I haven’t had the time to update. There are a couple of pictures of me shakeboard dancing…but they are on other people’s cameras so I can’t really say when I will be able to get my hands on them.
Embarrassingly enough, I didn’t work for the full 4 days. By the end of the 2nd days shift, my back was killing me. It got progressively worse as the night went on and by morning, I could barely even walk to the bathroom. I had to call in and explain my situation to the program director person, and they were understanding but at the same time a bit annoyed. Hello, it was four days and I couldn’t even do it. That’s a wee bit pathetic.
But I guess it’s my own fault…at the beginning of my 2nd shift I decided to work extra hard and dance non-stop. I even tried on the mascot costume and danced around. Unfortunately, I guess I threw out my back doing all this. My back is still killing me I called my friend to see if she could take over, and thankfully she could.
This weekend was busy for me. Jo had her birthday party Friday night, and Booth stayed over the entire weekend (in the family room of course). I have decided I don’t really like birthday parties - they usually end up with me having a major headache thanks to the amount of drama that swirls around them.
For one, Jo invited one of my ex-boyfriends…Reaper. Booth was on his guard because at first he felt insecure, but the second he met Reaper he relaxed because there definitely isn’t a threat. Reaper’s girlfriend though, didn’t feel that way about me. She got pissed at me because she thought I was hitting on Reaper, which is hilarious. I only had like a total of 5 conversations with the guy, and every time we talked Booth was involved because they were usually conversations about tattoos and drawing (since Reaper wants to sell his art work to tattoo shops). Well this at least explains why in the middle of one of our conversations Reaper’s little girlfriend raced over and started sucking face with him, leaving Booth and I to look awkwardly at each other.
That really floors me. When Booth is having a conversation with someone, no matter who it is, I would never go up to him and interrupt him - let alone race up and start sucking face with him. I don’t care who it is he’s talking to, there is a time and place for everything. Kissing someone while they’re trying to have a conversation is a bitchy and rude move. This girl Reaper is dating contributed to the drama that night (which didn’t really involve me) and I definitely don’t want to see her around again. It was disgusting to think that she could think that when clearly, I’m 100% happy with Booth. Jo even told her that.
Saturday was a busy day too. It was my dad’s party for all of his friends. It was a really awesome time for the most part, save for some parts. I was pleased to see Booth getting along with all of my extended family, and by the end of the night Mel told us that she couldn’t wait until we got married because we connect so well, and Booth fits perfectly with every aspect of my life.
Even the not so perfect aspects, Booth fits. He stands by. I was stunned this weekend because he knew exactly what to do and what to say in sticky/awkward situations. It definitely wasn’t a show. I know that any of my ex-boyfriends would have long since taken off after witnessing that sort of thing. Not Booth. You know a guy is for real when not only is he not afraid to comfort you, but he is also not afraid to comfort your family. Not to mention, he fully intends on accompanying me to all of my hospital appointments. I have another one on the 16th, which he assured me he would be going to whether I liked it or not. And this time, it doesn’t feel like a show. That thought never even crosses my mind. It feels like he wants to go because he wants to know exactly what I’m facing and he wants to be there for me when I hear it.
Randomly enough, we also had a dog for a couple of days. Around 2am Saturday, he pranced in to the garage where we were all partying and drinking. He was a huge black lab/Newfoundland Retriever and at first I mistook him for a bear. He was completely lovable and friendly though, and he stuck around until today. Sunday we had to go out and get him some food because we didn’t know where he was from. Today I called the pound and found his owners right away. The dog’s name was Rylie and he literally lived like 5 minutes up the road from us, he just loved the attention and food he was getting at our place and didn’t feel like going home yet. They picked him up today though, and we were all sad to see him go. He had a really wicked personality.
Sunday was a dab day really, Booth and I watched a movie with my parents and Kate. It was pretty good. Today I hung out with my friend who lives down the road and we exchanged books and music and watched a movie. It was pretty chill. I’m so exhausted thanks to my many late nights this weekend, and I completely forgot to call my granny to thank her for the tops she got me while shopping with Jo and my mom on Friday. Damn it. I’ll have to remember to do it tomorrow before I leave for Booth’s.
It’s his birthday tomorrow! He’s turning 22! What an old fart. I can’t wait to see his face when he sees the wicked present I got him! Although he does already know what I got him…thanks to my inability to keep anything from him. Sigh. I’ll have to work on that.
In a couple of weeks Booth and I are making a trip down to Karen’s and I’m completely stoked for it. Karen is going to teach me how to do graphic design and coding so I can make some money while I’m laid up at home recovering from surgery. Booth is probably going to be drooling over the Wii and x-Box with the boys. All in all, it’ll be good times. Perhaps we’ll even go out drinking with my NEWLY AGED SELF Yep, only 12 more days until my birthday folks!
I don’t think I’ll be having a birthday party at home though. I really want one, but the last two parties were enough for my parents. Although for the record, I totally wouldn’t let drama happen at my party. People can cab it home if they act up. I don’t care how expensive cab fair is out here, if someone isn’t following the rules they would be leaving.
Anyways, I’m coasting on content right now…which is good. I’ve started “reproduction” on a few story ideas. Hopefully I can keep up the stamina though.
And I should really catch up on blog reading…since I haven’t been good with that lately.
I also need to job hunt again. Sigh. We should place bets or something. Tune in next week to see if Sarcastica can find summertime employment this late in the season.
Posted by Sarcastica @
9:11 pm |
Better than the Oscars!
This morning I woke up feeling a little more then smoopey. I had had a little argument the night before with my mom over my lack of time spent at home, and was feeling pretty worthless and selfish (which I shall most likely go in deeper detail about later) and I was also due in the big T.O for a doctor’s appointment - which I wasn’t very optimistic about considering doctor’s appointments in T.O last all day normally, and results are normally frustrating or depressing.
However, after I showered and readied myself for the day, I checked my phone and was shockingly surprised to see that I had received a text message from my cousin Karen. Basically, it just said “I blawgggged about you. Xo” and because I can’t contain the excitement of being blawgggged about by other writers, I rushed down to the nearest computer and was tickled pink to see that I had won an award! Me!
Karen indeed had blawgggged about me, and it was all about her presenting me with an adorable award. She made me laugh and cry…it was seriously better then CATS. Seriously…although I haven’t actually been on Broadway or even seen the play CATS but whatever, I bet it beats it!
As far as I understand, I have to award this thing to 10 people that I love THIS much, which is a difficult decision for me to make because my heart is so often bursting with love for like everyone and everything! But here it goes…in no order at all. Obviously you guys know that my blog lacks any structure and order at all
Jessica at So Supercilious - I only recently started reading her blog, but damn it I’m hooked! You can’t tear me away from it! She reminds me very much of myself, and I can completely relate to her witty commentary of every day life. Soon enough she shall be my partner in crime (although she doesn’t really know that yet - stalkerish much? sure), filming the epic adventures of Sarcastica bar hopping at 19. She definitely is one of the few teen bloggers that I read [and thoroughly enjoy]. She’s not afraid to speak - or rather, write - her mind and for that reason Jessica, I love you THIS much!
Sarah at A Child’s Romance - Also a new read, and another new blogger that completely blows my mind! Sarah has an amazing way with words, and writes beautiful poetry! She’s witty, she’s funny, she’s real. She doesn’t fall into a sub category and that is absolutely refreshing! She blogs about a wide range of things from her own poetry writings to job frustrations (which are always hilarious to read) and friend issues. It’s great seeing that more and more people are being more open with their blogs, and Sarah is one of them. I love you THIS much Sarah, for being real and raw!
Girl, Dislocated at Girl, Dislocated - I started reading Girl, Dislocated like a year ago, and ever since the first entry I read, I’ve been hooked. GD is a woman suffering from a rare medical condition, but her outlook on life in general is just so not what you would expect it to be. No matter how bad it gets, GD has an outlook that picks even me up just by reading. She has hilarious stories of bones popping out at the most inconvenient times and by her writing, you can tell that she accepts who she is 100%, despite how hard popping your joints back in to place in the grocery store line up is. She sympathizes with me for my health woes (although I never have hilarious stories to share darn eh?) and makes me feel, just from reading her posts, that life is not just about a medical disorder. For that reason Girl, Dislocated, I love you THIS much!
Jess at Bumblebee Dreams - Jess was a long time lurker of mine (I think that’s what she said) and first started to comment during one of my [not so] private posts. In turn, I checked out her blog and instantly fell in love with it. Now you can’t get me a way from it! I absolutely love her writing style, and she occasionally shares very inspirational stories from her childhood that I personally can relate to in my current situation. She sees things in the same kind of light that I do, and I adore that! For being a wicked awesome person Jess, I love you THIS much!
Bennie at A Work of Art: Raising Our Exceptional Son - If you have not yet seen or read this blog, do so now. Trust me. It will open your eyes in so many ways! Bennie is an exceptional writer who is able to give you a birds eye view of what raising a child with special needs is like. The way he writes brings you right in to the life of his son, Ben, who is remarkable in every way. He’s taught me a lot about so many things, and for that Bennie, I love you THIS much. [Note to Bennie; you probably know me as Jessi/Jess from A Medical Mystery...I'm not some creepy stalker, don't worry!].
Angelique at It’s Raining Noodles - One of the Best Teen Weblog finalists in the 2008 Bloggies; and definitely one of the best teen writers out there! She definitely seems like someone I could relate to easily and get along with spectacularly as she views life the same way I do! She never fails to entertain me with her random posts, and always makes me think with her posts on life situations. For this reason Angelique, I love you THIS much!
Avitable at Avitable: Tact Is For Pussies - Definitely one of the MOST ballsy bloggers I know! Most would agree, as they are literally pictures all over the net! His sense of humour is a bit sick and twisted, but admit it…you laugh just as much as I do! Avitable has been a blogging friend of mine for years now, and although sometimes his comments have absolutely nothing to do with the posts they are supposedly in response to, that’s another reason to like him. Because he’s random…like myself (although I’m random in a less freaky/sexual way). For actually building me a pink unicorn bedroom Avitable, I love you THIS much!
Miss Britt at Miss Britt - I LOVE her writing! She’s suave and chic, but at the same time she’s honest and raw. Some of her posts make me want to cry and some of them make me double over in pain from laughing so much (thus drawing weird looks from people around me). She’s also a hilarious drunk, and for that reason Miss Britt, I love you THIS much!
NYC Watchdog at A Pile Of Dog Bones - NYC Watchdog is a really spectacular person, and I’m totally not stretching the truth. He has one of the biggest hearts out of everybody I’ve met (well figuratively anyway, through his writings) in the blogging world. He’s been through a hell of a lot that nobody should have to go through, yet still he stands and offers that same compassionate understanding that Dog is so known to have. For those reasons and a million more Dog, I love you THIS much!
Rik at Person Without a Clue - Rik has been a blog friend of mine since I started waaay back in 2005. He’s been the fatherly type, offering advice and sympathy when I mess up big and generally just being there for me. He is a thoughtful, compassionate person and it definitely shows in his writings on his own blog and in his comment responses to the whacked out stuff I have to say! Because you’re so smart Rik, I love you THIS much!
….and even though you’re technically not supposed to re-send the award back to the person who sent it to you, I just couldn’t resist…
Karen at Karen Sugarpants - She is basically the reason why I started blogging. It was her idea and suggestion that I start my first blog, the late Miss Misery Smiles, as a place to vent and pour my heart and soul into - which I have done, clearly…at the expense of some friendships and groundings. Ever since I started, I have always aspired to be as awesome as she is. I have always looked up at her and considered her to be one of my big sisters; and I feel that I am closer to her then I am my other sisters, because she’s really a cousin and that makes it easier. Sisters are supposed to piss each other off, but Karen rarely pisses me off because she’s able to look at a situation I’m in and give me an unbiased suggestion or opinion without freaking out on me for messing up. I’ve called her crying many a nights…and she’s always taken the calls and comforted me with ease. I suppose you could say I make her feel young and she makes me feel older, we are like almost the same person only at different ages. It’s wicked. For all those reasons and more Karen, I love you THIS much!
There are many more people on my list of loving THIS much but I have already been blogging now since like 10 (so an hour and half ago I started this post). Feel free to do this meme thing if you want! It is really nice to sit back and appreciate some of the fellow bloggers out there.
~*~*~
Now would be the later part of this post; where I discuss my day[s] and vent about all that sucked (so like everything? No not really…I’m not totally emo). Warning: It’s basically a negativity outpour.
Yesterday I had a really crummy afternoon. I just felt so unreasonably insecure and smoopey, even before I had the argument with my mom. Well, I guess my smoopey mood as of late is not totally unreasonable, or so Dragon, Booth and I concluded. There have been a lot of things making me feel crumby. Here is the list, sort of summed up a bit:
- I feel like my relationship with my older sister is suffering due to the amount of time I spend with Booth. I can’t understand why, as I’ve been extremely careful to not intrude on newly wed time and barge in to her house everyday visiting. I find it harder to talk to her every time because she always seems so pissed off at me, and I’m sure you all have a hard time talking to someone who seems pissed off at you.
- I have been searching diligently for a part or full time job this summer, and have not yet wielded any good decent results (save for the 4 day job I have starting tomorrow - and that’s being a shakeboard dancer). Pressure is being put on me at all angles for this as my funds are being stretched hard core and school is just around the corner.
- Because I have not gone to school or worked in like 5 months, I feel like a worthless piece of noncontributing poop. I also know several important family members views on my dropping out of college…and their fears for me doing it again. I didn’t want to be known as “The College Dropout”, but I guess that dropping out of college would earn you that nickname.
- I’m sore. All the time. I barely want to move now and I hate feeling like that. Because of this feeling, I booked the appointment with my doctors, hoping that they would be able to do something about the pain. But I found out today that unfortunately they can’t do much for all my concerns. My hips pop and my ankles lock because of all the bone growths/tumours surrounding them and the looseness that is my joints and ligaments. They can’t realign my ankles because the treatment might be more worse then the now…and healing could be a long process. I might not even heal. I will be having a surgery though to shave down one of the bone growths on my ankle that I believe is the reason behind my locked up leg.
- So the possibility of a surgery brings me even more concern for the summer; as I need money and a summer job, but I also need this surgery and having a surgery will definitely put me out for a while.
Now the argument I spoke of earlier on in this post happened basically because my relationships with my parents seem strained these days. There are several reasons why they are strained; because they don’t seem to understand me and because of the fact that I’m not spending a lot of time at home. Yes, I know…the simple solution would be to spend more time at home and try to explain myself, but this is easier said then done. I’m a hard person to understand, and I sort of suck at confrontations (which is why I’m blogging about it instead of talking about it).
So why am I never home? Well that’s a good question. I would like to be home, but at the same time I just can’t be…for several reasons. A small part is that I’m concerned about my health as that mold is still in the downstairs bathrooms…and it’s worse and spreading. And I know that writing this will just piss my parents off, but its been years now. House mold is unbelievably bad for the health; mold spores stick to the lungs and cause respiratory problems on top of a million other problems. At night, I have a hard time falling asleep because I can’t breathe at night and my stomach issues are getting ridiculous. Another reason why I’m not really home is because whenever I am at home, everyone’s off doing their own thing…barely interacting with each other and they seem mad whenever I try to make conversation. I get lonely. Not to mention, I’m 18 going on 19 living in the middle of nowhere; basically when I’m home I’m stranded. Not having a license and living in the boondocks makes job searches HARD.
So ya, lately I’ve been smoopey. I’ve been taking a lot of things to heart and I know I shouldn’t but I can’t really help that. When you’re already in a bad mood and people start making bad jokes about things, you take it harder then you would if you were in a good mood.
What would fix this? Well…it’s hard to say really. Moving out would fix it for now, because I really don’t want to be here anymore if the mold is still going to be here. I take a shower and all I can smell is MOLD; because the towels touch it along the walls. I can’t sleep at night because it’s all I can smell. So I’m tired and cranky and smoopey. But moving out would seriously piss my parents off. They would think that I want to move in with Dragon and Booth to do the naughty whenever I like, which is completely not true. Like I’ve mentioned before a thousand times, if people want to do the naughty then they’ll do it regardless of their living status. They also fear that if I move out, I’ll be partying nonstop — which is completely not true. I have never really been a partier, I’m more of a homebody. On occasion I do party, but I don’t over do it (at least not in the past 4 months). But I really don’t want to piss my parents off or hurt them any more then they’ve already been hurt…but I’m not happy here and it gets harder and harder to pretend each day.
So I’m between a rock and a hard place. I haven’t even spoken to my parents yet about this because I’m afraid of their reactions. I sort of hope that they read my blog this time…because I don’t know how to explain myself.
[Anyway folks, if you read this; know that I don't want to move out...it might just be more convenient for me...at the moment anyway. Don't hate me...I love you both. Xoxoxo. It's just an idea.]
Blah. Well ya. That’s all for now I guess since this post is WAYYY to long.
Posted by Sarcastica @
9:33 pm |
