It’s been a while
Every time I go to post lately, I get distracted. Usually it’s by shiny objects, and once or twice an alien ship flew by the window and I just had to go and investigate. But I’ve been desperate to post so I’ve closed the blinds and hidden away in the family room. No aliens will find me today, and the sun can’t hit shiny objects so hopefully I will not be distracted.
I learned a few days ago who they hired to be the summer students at the recreational group. Am I surprised they screwed me over? Not really. I’m hurt through. After receiving the email that claimed due to policies and procedures they could not hire me this summer as I had not been in school for the past 4 months, I felt something was fishy. Firstly, you have to read the policies and procedures when you get hired. I never once read any such policy or procedure. The only policy and procedure they had on college/university students was that they must attend school in the fall, which I will be doing. Nothing about attending or not attending school beforehand. In fact, one employee last year had taken a year off. She was given a job because she was attending school in the fall.
One policy and procedure I did read about was how they didn’t hire people who were dating due to work drama. Guess what they did this summer? Hired two students who have been dating for about a year or 2. All of the members and volunteers alike know that they are dating. I wasn’t allowed to be in the same group as NSN during one of the day trips “because we were dating and it was ethically incorrect”, yet they are allowed to work together? How does this work?
Mom says not to let it get to me…considering I didn’t really want the job in the first place. But truthfully, I did want the job. I love the members, I love the work. Sure, I hated the board and the stupid expectations they had about everything remaining the same…but whatever. I only pretended to not want the job because I had a feeling that they would screw me over in the end, just like the old program director - and my friend - warned me that they would. He knew for some time they were planning on not hiring me…which is why he advised me to look elsewhere. But stupid me was convinced that they would give me a job, since I had some sort of seniority over the other people who may apply because I worked there last summer. I didn’t really expect them to go out of their way to find reasons why not to hire me.
Am I jealous? Yes. Extremely jealous. I have never been treated the same way that those two people they hired (who are dating) have been treated. Ever. I wasn’t allowed to be on the same bus as NSN (not that I mind now), meanwhile they were allowed to be on the same bus and they’re allowed to work together. How is this fair? Plus everybody talks about how amazing they both are, and sure…they’re cool people, but they aren’t holy grails. In fact I don’t like how she treats other females - especially me. And I don’t think that being arrogant should mean you’re smart.
I don’t know. I guess I’m just feeling betrayed now. And since Fuzz told me that they were all talking about how I think it’s a conspiracy, I’m even more mad. I don’t think its a conspiracy at all, I know that the board members thought I was lazy because of that weekend I couldn’t leave my tent due to the rain and dampness. I know that the board members thought I couldn’t “handle direction” because of the joking nature that the old program director and I had. There is no conspiracy there, just one petty person deciding to make me look bad because I was friends with someone she didn’t like.
Not to mention, I haven’t received any emails from anybody. If I was a summer students, emails would be going out on a daily basis in a friendly way to everyone, just like last year. And they wonder why they don’t have any volunteers.
Posted by Sarcastica @
1:02 pm |
Math. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Lately the only somewhat creative titles I can come up with are song lyrics. Oh well, it bets accidentally repeating an already used title, right?
I’ve been thinking about the future again, and my stomach is twisted in nervous knots. Don’t worry, I’m not going to back out of this program - I do really want it! But I’m nervous as hell because I have to take Accounting! Readers who have been around for like ever remember my high school days of fighting to get by in Math. Math has never been my strong suit. I probably wouldn’t be so insecure in Math if my stupid high school teachers didn’t act as if I was completely number stunned. But they did, and they kept saying to me “choose a career that doesn’t need Math”.
I won’t lie, I was a very difficult student to help in Math. I didn’t need help in any of my other subjects, so I was extremely bitchy and difficult to the teachers who tried to help me. I hate not getting something, and I really didn’t (and still don’t) get Math.
Whenever I am told to answer a Math problem, even if it’s the simplest question in the world, my mind freezes and I have mini mental freakouts. I can’t get past that to focus on the question and solution, and I’m convinced my mind has blocked out all the solutions anyway. Does that make sense to anybody? Because it doesn’t to me. I’ve never known anybody to have panic attacks when faced with a math problem. I guess I really am one of a kind (said sarcastically, of course).
So needless to say, I’m very nervous about school now since looking at the classes list. I still want to be a Dental Receptionist and Administrator, but I was really hoping to be on the honor role and top of the class (since that would REALLY prove a lot of people wrong about me). Gah. I guess I’ll just have to work my butt off and get a tutor very early on.
Posted by Sarcastica @
9:58 am |
Proof I’m Tech-Stupid - among other things
So my friends, it looks like my baby must undergo some serious healthcare. I’m talking about my lovely laptop. Me being the tech-stupid loser I am didn’t realize that my AVG 4 Free’s virus vault was overflowing with, well, viruses. I had no clue that you had to go into that vault and clear out all the viruses AVG caught. Um, Avitable…you could have told me that. And that Spybot you told me to put on my computer? Ya it allowed so many Trojans, my computer is whacked. Too bad I can’t stay mad at hairy gorilla men, since they are so rare.
Anyways, Ears is taking a look at my laptop tonight. Booth will be standing beside my baby while Ears tries his best to fix all that I’ve done wrong to my darling laptop. Hopefully he will succeed, and get rid of all those viruses. If not, well I guess I have to wipe it clean and start all over. That means I will lose all of my stories. And pictures. But more importantly stories. So ya, thanks Avitable lmfao. I’m totally kidding, but next time folks, make sure that advice is followed by a huge email explaining how to use the products. I’m seriously tech-stupid!
So last night I went out to dollar beer night with some friends. It really was not my scene, can you say ew? The girls’ bathroom was DISGUSTING with toilet bowl water overflowing all over the floor and drunk chicks falling everywhere - I mean maybe that would appeal to some guys but definitely not to me. I had some guy hump me from behind when I was trying to get back to where Booth was - not once, but four times. He apologized after every time to make it look as if the people behind him were shoving, but really, how can your frontal area be the only area that gets pushed forward? *Shivers* Unfortunately there is no footage of me falling around and wearing a crown. Kiwi forgot the crown and I didn’t bring my camera.
The sleep over that I had with the girls was that - a sleep over. We all passed out as soon as we got in. Then one of my friends dropped me off at Booth’s house on her way to work so I could hang out with Booth. We went to the garden center with Dragon and the boys and gardened. Yup, I gardened! Not very well mind you, but I’m learning!! I’m sure I’ll get better. I sort of want to work on Mom’s garden next…although that would be a lot of work haha. Talk about weeds…haha.
And tomorrow Booth is taking me out for a movie! We’re going to see The Incredible Hulk. I’m excited, we haven’t had a date night in a while - since we saw You Don’t Mess With The Zohan (hilarious movie, I recommend it, especially if you like Adam Sandler humour - this is by far his best movie). I finally got all those pictures to upload onto Facebook (before my laptop was discovered to be riddled with viruses that is). The above picture is one that a lot of people like, it’s one of those “totally caught the moment” photo. I wish that the zoom wasn’t on, and that it wasn’t so close to our faces…but other than that I love it. What do you guys think? Hmmm?
Sorry…gushing again. I’ll stop now; I’ve got to finish reading The Host by Stephenie Meyer anyway!
Posted by Sarcastica @
8:20 pm |
Pogos and Facebook Lurking
I can’t believe how disgusting Pogos are. You know, those hotdogs wrapped in batter on a stick? Those things? They look so good in the picture on the box, yet despite following the direct instructions on how to cook them they still taste like disgusting butt. Even with an overwhelming amount of ketchup and mustard on it, I still couldn’t get past the nastiness of it to eat the second one. I gave it to my mom, cause she didn’t want me to waste it…you know, since children in third world countries don’t get food like that. I’m sure they’d be happy not to cause it’s gross!
So I’m feeling pretty on top of things. I cleaned up my room yesterday - well most of it anyway. I put away all of my clothes and got rid of the heaping pile of garbage. I still have to vacuum and reorganize my desk. But that I shall save for another day.
This morning I’m just taking it easy - at home of course - and reading blogs that I haven’t read in a while, lurking people on Facebook (because that’s always fun, don’t lie! You do it too) and ATTEMPTING to upload those pictures of Booth and I…but that might have to wait.
So anyways, when I was lurking people on Facebook, guess what I found out? NSN has a new girlfriend. I was completely shocked to find that I don’t care! See back in November I would have been devastated that he moved on, but in all fairness I technically moved on first. I dated that loser guy for a couple of weeks and I’ve been with Booth for nearly six months, and since being with Booth…I’ve never looked back. I see now how I should be treated, and it definitely wasn’t how NSN treated me. My definition of love has completely changed thanks to Booth, and its all for the better!
I can’t remember if I ever really blogged about what really was going on between NSN and I because I can remember not wanting the good people of blogland to hate him, and since I’m too lazy to go back in my achieves and find out…I’ll just retell it. I don’t care if you guys hate him now though, because I do! Anyways, I would give 100% in that stupid relationship, and NSN barely gave 50%. He took everything I did for him for granted and just expected more and more of me, which is why by the end I was so exhausted and fed up. At the time, I didn’t want to end the relationship because I figured it was only so bad because I moved away and we saw each other less. I didn’t realize or want to admit the fact that his stupidity was there throughout our entire relationship and he had grown tired of me way at the beginning. If I had a bad day, he got pissed at me for wanting to talk about what was going on or for getting upset over the millions of stupid things he did.
But with Booth, he gives 100% to our relationship, just like I do. He’s aware that not every day can be sunshine and butterflies, and he knows that everybody has their insecure days. He’s patient and kind with me, and he doesn’t expect anything that he wouldn’t give me first. He’s aware of the fact that you don’t have to go out every single night of the week, that sometimes sitting at home with a rented movie can be just as romantic as an “expensive dinner”. Since we’re both broke and can’t even consider affording expensive dinners, this is what we do often. Booth actually likes and enjoys my company. He considers me to be his best friend, and I consider him to be mine. You need to be friends as well as lovers, and thats something NSN never understood because he never even considered me a friend.
Truth be told, I’ve had several chance meetings with Booth before NSN and I broke up. He was at that fundraiser I helped run and we made eye contact and I thought he was hot (Booth remembers every detail about what I was wearing and how my hair looked etc haha). And then there was this one time at McPout’s house, when NSN, B2 and her then boyfriend were all hanging out with McPout and Nelly and my mom. Booth dropped by with another neighbour and I can remember feeling quite hot because he kept looking at me from the corner of his eye and smiling that cute shy smile he has. He said that he was checking me out because I was hot, and that he was looking at NSN on the couch and thinking “total loser” haha. I asked Booth why he didn’t run over and sweep me off my feet into his arms and kiss me then and there, and he said because he didn’t want to be a home wrecker and knew that NSN and I wouldn’t last very long.
And we didn’t, and I’m glad because I would never have realized just how perfect Booth is for me. Sure, he might not have a college education at this point and he may not have the best job in the world…but he’s happy with what he does, and I’m happy that he’s found something he enjoys doing. Heck, I know he’s going to go to college next September for Business, he’s so excited about it and he can’t wait. The only reason why he didn’t sign up for this year is because they started the tattoo business and he wants to help Dragon get that off the ground before he goes to school. Makes sense to me, and he’s making money - contrary to what everyone else thinks.
And the most important thing is that he’s making me happy. I’ve never dated a guy who was so intuned to what I want and need. I have never dated a guy who actually cares enough to make me happy every single day. Booth buys me random presents, he’s bought me an adorable sundress, a ring, a purse, and countless rings for my multiple piercings. I don’t care if he “looks like a grenade went off in his face” due to all his piercings, because he’s a good guy. He really is. I didn’t know what a good guy was until I met him because the only one I knew was my dad and I thought that good guys were a dead breed. I’ve always been told to never judge a book by it’s cover, and I don’t. Sure, I have opinions about people, but that’s after I get to know them. Opinions are fine if you have taken the time to get to know someone, but making prejudgments aren’t fine.
Remember this? I still stand by what it says.
P.S. I’m amused at the turn of events this post has taken.
P.S.S. I love Booth 
and I’m happy. And I wish everyone else would see that, piercings and tattoos aside people, he’s amazing to me.
Posted by Sarcastica @
10:17 am |
Protected: So…I’m 19 eh
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9:35 am | Enter your password to view comments
Infallible
I’m getting frustrated with this whole job hunting thing. I’ve handed out resumes and applied at places like mad. There isn’t really anything available locally, and that’s very annoying.
Monday is my appointment for the pre-op. Hopefully they will be able to give me a surgery date, because that would help ease my piece of mind slightly.
Right now other than that I don’t have much to stay. I’m still at odd ends with people, despite trying to resolve it. I have a feeling my birthday isn’t going to go as nicely as I hoped it would be. I’m not even excited about it anymore, although it’s tomorrow. I should be excited…but I’m not…not really anyway. Booth and I are going to the bar at midnight for a few drinks, so that should be fun. Hopefuly.
No one can make it other than Booth really. Most of my friends are working or would rather go down town for a huge bar party. I don’t want to go down town.
I have a question. Because of human nature, can people ever truly forgive? Sure, it’s easy to say “I forgive you”…but can you ever actually forgive?
Posted by Sarcastica @
3:54 pm |
Protected: Volcano
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7:59 am | Enter your password to view comments
I’ll Sing It One Last Time For You
Oops, I’ve spend yet another dollar on iTunes. I can’t help it…seriously, somebody slap me. I know I shouldn’t be spending what little money I have left - especially considering I don’t havethat much left - but iTunes is so addictive and because it takes a bit for the proof to show up on my Visa, I just keep doing it.
A lot of people think that I have a spending problem. I do. Every single time I get stressed or upset about something, I buy stuff. I’ve always been this way…and I couldn’t tell you why. Right now, I’m super stressed and I’m spending like crazy. I need a job, but I can’t get a job and I’m stressed about that so I spend money. Make sense? No? Ya it doesn’t to me either. Minds are weird like that….especially mine.
But as of this current moment, Run by Snow Patrol (the song I just bought) is my favourite song. I love it.
Anyways, I finally decided what I’m going to do. I’m going into Office Admin. I’ll take the 3 year exclusive program and get it all. I can work in a medical office setting, indirectly helping people. I always wanted to help people, and even though being in the office and behind the sense isn’t being directly involved with them…it’s still helping. My program starts in February, so there goes the summer of 09 for me but I plan on making the summer of 08 awesome.
So ya, I know I said I wanted Journalism…and I still do want to write…but not be a Journalist. I can pick up a couple extra writing courses while I’m getting my Office Admin diploma…can I not?
Well at least I don’t need to come up with the money by the end of June, since my program starts later. I think I have until like December or something like that. Woot, freedom!
Posted by Sarcastica @
11:11 pm |
Sickness
I found out something absolutely horribly disgusting about someone today. I can’t mention what it was…not here. But I can never look at that person the same way ever again. It makes me sick to even think about it. And they won’t succeed in their disgusting plan.
Anyway, iTunes is going to make me go bankrupt. I just accidentally bought the Duffy CD, all I wanted was “Mercy” and thanks to my distracted, pissed off state of mind…I bought the whole damn CD. Plus countless other songs that I wanted.
Stupid iTunes. But I love the tracks I bought; here’s a list!
- Realize by Colbie Caillat
- Duffy’s Rockferry CD
- Take A Bow by Rihanna
- Leavin’ by Jesse McCartney (yeah I know, but oddly enough I like this song)
- Beautiful by H.I.M
- Don’t Fear The Reaper by H.I.M
- Forever by Chris Brown
- I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry
- Pork and Beans by Weezer
- Dangerous by Karidnal Offishall
- Bad Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman
- Since You’ve Been Gone by Theory of a Deadman
- Make Up Your Mind by Theory of a Deadman
…and the list keeps growing. I should get offline.
Stupid Booth Internet connection of high speed and the ability to easily click, buy, and download iTunes tracks. I need me some iTunes gift certificates.
Speaking of Booth, he’s a butt because he won’t come fix the TV for me…so as a result I’m downloading tracks I can’t afford.
At least he came with me to see You Don’t Mess With The Zohan today. It was pretty funny; I haven’t heard a theatre crack up like that in forever; seriously, everyone was in stitches. Go see it.
Anyways, I need to go before I have to go bankrupted what with all this spending money on tracks.
Posted by Sarcastica @
11:51 pm |
Throw the party of the month? Nah the party of the year!
Yeah…I’m quoting Aaron Carter. That just goes to show how desperate I am for a freaking title today. I’m surprised I can even still come up with those things! Soon I’ll give up and just start numbering them or something.
Anyways, only 10 more days until I’m legal! Woot! Yep, the countdown has most definitely begun. Normally, I don’t get overly excited about my birthday…but this time I’m going to be 19! I’ll be able to drink freely at restaurants and bars! No more fake id for me, haha just kidding I never actually had a fake id. I didn’t know where to get them…
So since I haven’t actually thrown a party since like the late ’90s early ’00s, I wanted to make this year my year for a wicked awesome party. It helps that I turn legal this year, therefore I’m hoping my parents wouldn’t forbid drinking. My friends and I are all at that age now where we’ve been drinking [somewhat illegally] for 4 years now and getting rip roaring drunk is no longer fun. Plus I know and trust all of my friends to not make idiots out of themselves.
I want to have a huge camp out/BBQ/pool party. Obviously the pool party would happen before everyone started drinking - I’m not dumb and I don’t have my lifeguard certificate. Plus I don’t know many people who want to actually start drinking at 2pm. Except for the lushes, who wouldn’t if nobody else is. I already know that I would not be drinking, and neither would Booth (since we want to combine our parties and friends). We both would be too paranoid to drink. We definitely know how to control a party but still make it fun - heck we did it to McShout’s party until she decided to sneak guys back in. That wouldn’t be an issue at my party because the guys would still be there. One side of the lawn would be girl’s camping central and the other side of the lawn would be guy’s camping central. We wouldn’t have to worry about people sneaking into each others tents because that sort of looses the appeal by the time you turn 17 or 18. Besides, half of us girls already see our guys on a regular basis and girl time is way cooler 
I’m hoping that my parents remember the fact that I have camped co-ed before with the recreational group. Heck I used to date a fellow volunteer and we never did anything while camping.
Anyways, I have no idea when I’m going to throw this wicked awesome party [or if I'm even allowed to have it for that matter] since I’m still waiting for a surgery date and the weekend of my birthday seems to be filled up. I’m going to be babysitting Grinch’s boys and Sunday is father’s day, you can’t really walk into that hungover (or not hungover in my case, just super tired from making sure nobody does stupid things). The following weekend I was hoping to go to Karen’s place with Booth so Karen could spread some of her HTML coding, graphic making magic.
Then on July 1st I’m planning on going on a road trip with Dragon to see Theory of a Deadman I love their music, although unfortunately I don’t own any albums 
their music is quite catchy though! July 8th is my trip to a theme park, and July 12th is totally Edgefest!
Hopefully I can do all these things before my surgery. It sort of bums me out that I made plans for a wicked awesome summer and then might not get to do half the stuff I planned because I might be a tad bit laid up. All my other summers have sort of been dab and boring…especially last summer, when I was working full time at the rec group and too exhausted to read let alone go to concerts or throw parties.
This year thus far I’m jobless. I sort of put my job hunting on hold because, as my mom pointed out, why start a job you’re just going to have to quit for a surgery? It doesn’t make much sense now does it? Not to mention, everything is basically taken up for this summer. All those good jobs, gone.
Ugh. So many issues, so little time. I still have to figure out what I’m doing with the rest of my life. I wish I could be Peter Pan and never have to grow up haha I’m sure thats a bit unreasonable, but I do wish that there wasn’t so much pressure being put on me to make a decision - and the right one at that. How do you know what the right one is?
I have a feeling there is going to be another depression anyway, and then everyone will be out of the job and education won’t matter at all. I’ve already started digging my hole, how bout you? Humans have screwed up royally and I just know we’re going to pay for it. I hope not in my lifetime though!
Jeez I have such a bleak outlook on things. Meh. Comes with being a pessimist/realitist (my invented word for someone who acknowledges that bad things can happen and most likely will).
Posted by Sarcastica @
11:17 am |
