Those Things Called Thoughts
May 23, 2008
Sorry for being MIA again…I’ve not been home. Lots of stuff has been going on and I’m just all over the place with thoughts and feelings right now. I feel like my head is a constant speed track, with thoughts racing and screaming by. I jump from one concern to the next faster then I can even acknowledge the first thought.
I know I should be at home, but I really can’t be. I can’t describe it…not in a way that makes sense because it doesn’t make sense to me. I just can’t bear to see the depressed looks on my parents, and I know that’s selfish and I can’t even begin to describe how guilty I feel. I want to be there, I just can’t because it depresses me so much. I still care and I’m not meaning to “only think of myself”…although that’s how not being home comes across as, or so I’ve been told anyways.
There’s been lots of shit going on with Booth and his family - which I’m not involved in. I do support him though, and his decision to move out of his mom’s and into Dragon’s. It’s not my story to tell, so I won’t tell it. I see nothing wrong with me supporting those I care about…and I’m still supporting my family even if I don’t come home this weekend.
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Sometiems you have to selfish in situations like these. Trust me being around a depressing setting can make you depressed and having more depressed people doesn’t make a situation better. That’s good that you are able to support Booth and his decisions and support your family even when you can’t be there for your own mental health. I’m hoping everything turns around and gets better for you and your family and everything.
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Just make sure you take care of yourself first.
May 24th, 2008 at 10:13 am
You know I’m here for you. xoxo
I tagged you - I wouldn’t have come to your comments to tell you this but it’s in the RULEZ.
http://karensugarpants.com/2008/05/24/random-and-weird/
May 24th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Sarah - I suppose that’s very true, so I don’t feel ENTIRELY selfish now.
Avitable - That’s what I’m trying to do, it’s just easier said then done because I feel like by taking care of myself first I’m letting everyone else down.
Karen - Thanks
and rulez are for preps lol 