Yay!!!
My review came in at italk2much! When I first resubmitted myself for a review, I was sort of expecting a bad one. In my opinion, my posts have gone down hill - or did for a while there anyway. I just didn’t have anything to blog about anymore, the life of a 17 with no hobbies isn’t really that interesting. Luckily though, Sassy Sadie gave me a lovely review! Thanks so much!!
And I’m sure that semi will turn out to be a fun night, it’s all how you look at things anyway 
Posted by Sarcastica @
8:51 am |
Spent.
I am so emotionally and physically spent I feel like just digging a hole and sleeping under a bunch of warm, comfy blankets surrounded by pillows. The hole, of course, will have to be a pimped out hole - with a TV on the wall and a fridge somewhere so I can eat. I just want to get away from everything for a couple of days. I don’t know what’s brought this on though.
Well maybe I do know, or at least have a small idea. Last year, I had a huge Christmas shopping list with all my friends from different clicks. This year, practically all of them have stopped talking to me for some reason, or I’ve just lost touch with them. It’s depressing really, usually I go hog wild and buy even the insignificant people in my life presents - just because I love seeing their faces. Not this year though, why should I buy presents for “friends” who don’t even talk to me anymore?
That’s one of the reasons why I’m not so excited about semi anymore. I’m going to feel like a complete outcast, and Nifty’s going to be bored because it’ll practically just be us - or at least that’s what I’m afraid of.
I used to be a social butterfly, and suddenly that’s all changed and no one wants to talk to me anymore. I haven’t changed that much, I’ve just stopped partying. I don’t see why this is a problem though, as I don’t have a problem with anyone who still parties - but apparently I must be really lame and uncool to not want to get high or drunk all the time. I’m not going to any after parties either. Nifty feels uncomfortable in party situations and I’m just past it, so we’re going to be lame and go back to my house and play game cube.
Today I went to the mall. I bought cute new shoes, a necklace, and a tie for Nifty to wear so we match. I’m hoping tomorrow night won’t be a complete disaster, but who knows.
Posted by Sarcastica @
10:50 pm |
It Really Makes You Think
Today during second period, our entire school was told about a car accident that occured last night involving Jessica L, Hayley C, and two guys from a different school. Jessica L is okay and resting at home, Hayley is at Sick Kids with a fractured skull, and one of the boys, Andrew, is dead. I haven’t heard anything on the other boy, but I’m assuming he’s fine.
Although Jessica L and I aren’t really friends anymore, my heart literally stopped when I heard her name in the announcement. For a moment, I feared that she was dead. I didn’t know the guy who died, but I’m still really bummed out about it. I hate hearing stories like this, and I couldn’t help but think about the pain his family and friends must be going through. Also, I kept thinking about what Jessica L, Hayley, and that other guy must be feeling. They were in the same car as Andrew, they were friends with him. I don’t even know what I would do if one of my friends or family was killed in a car accident right before my eyes.
This accident has helped me realize why I’ve been putting off getting my licence: I’m scared. I don’t want to die or be responsible for someones death.
Posted by Sarcastica @
4:40 pm |
No. Effing. Way.
You know how I was really super excited about co-op next term? Well, now I’m practically dreading it. Now I’m going to have to co-op with this annoying chick, Ashley. She’s a relevantly new volunteer who is more focused at hooking up with guys then Dezaray is – and that’s really saying something. I’ve seen her practically grab a male volunteer’s penis – right in front of the members! She’s a horrible volunteer because she’s more focused on the relationships she creates with other volunteers – male volunteers mainly – then she is on the members.
The reason why I was so excited about co-oping at Sunrise was because I was positive I wouldn’t have to endure idiocy – unless it came from me. It appears I’m wrong, because Ashley will be there. I just know I’ll end up doing everything, I just hope Niki will see that I’m doing everything and maybe kick Ashley out of the program.
I know it isn’t fair to wish that, but she truly isn’t there for the members and that makes me furious! She’s practically abandoned members in her quest to get close to whichever guy catches her interest that day. The sad part is she isn’t that attractive, not to be mean or anything. Not to mention, she doesn’t want to do this for the rest of her life. I really want to be either a Support Worker or an Educational Assistance – something where I get to work with people who have developmental problems. That’s my dream job, and I’m not even going to get a fair chance at the learning experiences I want.
I really wanted to be part of the Summer Staff because I need a job and this would be perfect, but I can’t for so many reasons. I live 45 minutes away from where the building is, not to mention the job’s been practically given to Dezaray already – all because she knows how to put in a catheter and she’s supposedly friends with Niki, the program director. It really bites. I was even going to beg my parents to let me stay at Nifty’s when I needed to be at the job, even though I think that’s really awkward – just because I really want the job. I’ve wanted it for years now. Oh well, that’s life I guess.
I really, really hope that I don’t have to co-op with Ashley though. I hate fake people, and she’s definitely fake. I must keep my fingers crossed that Dezaray can switch her classes so that she has to take co-op in the afternoon, because I’d much rather work with Dezaray.
Posted by Sarcastica @
5:17 pm |
OMG I’M FREAKING OUT!
Sorry for the caps everyone, but I’m really excited. I can barely contain it! I got home from Nifty’s house today at like 8:10 pm only to find out that I just missed a very important phone call.
(Note to Karen: If she hasn’t gotten around to telling you yet, please let her do it in her own sweet time and don’t let on that you know from my blog or she’ll kill me. If I wasn’t so excited I wouldn’t say anything but I AM!)
SHANNON’S ENGAGED! My eldest sister, who has been with her boyfriend Nelson for practically a quarter of a century, is finally engaged and I’m so excited!
All and all, it’s been a pretty good weekend. Shannon’s engaged, I’ve got my semi dress, I saw Nifty, and I got to see Happy Feet on Saturday. Hanging out with Katlyn and Dezaray was pretty cool, and Katlyn was nice enough to let me borrow her really pretty green dress. Now I don’t have to pay for a new one, which is good. I was running out of options as semi is this Thursday.
And OMG Shannon’s engaged!
Posted by Sarcastica @
10:06 pm |
Just Another Random Rant
Teens are having sex younger and younger, and it’s sad. I know a bunch of grade nines that have had sex and talk about it like it makes them so much older. Teenage girls really have their priorities messed up, I would know. I was one of them, before I learned my lesson that is. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but no one seems to get it. Sex won’t bring you closer to a guy; sex won’t make him like you.
I have a couple of friends that act like sex can be a casual thing between people. Don’t get me wrong, I know it can be – but definitely not at this age, when hormones are all out of whack and you don’t know what you want.
I know it’s not my decision to make, but teenage girls don’t truly think about it before they have sex. I’ve taken courses in parenting, and teen pregnancy. I’ve learned all about STDS and I’ve even gone through the heartbreak of having the “first one” break my heart. I was stupid once too, I thought that I was ready when I really wasn’t. Now I don’t just dive into relationships with sex because I know it can be a very destructive thing.
Just because you can have sex doesn’t mean you should. If you don’t know the person, then you obviously don’t know about their sexual past. Meaning you could easily get an STD. How would you know? They don’t have to tell you the truth and condoms aren’t always affective.
So what has brought my rant to light? Recent things I’ve heard, from two people very close to me. I won’t say who, but one is far too young to even think about sex, let alone have it, and one has been making a lot of thoughtless decisions lately.
To the first one, I really hope that you don’t regret this decision to have sex so early. I know you’ve been seeing the guy for 6 months now, but that doesn’t mean you’re both ready to have sex. I don’t want you to get your heart broken over this, because the first time really hurts – emotionally I mean. Well it hurts physically but you’ve obviously discovered that already. I’m just hoping that you never discover how much it hurts emotionally. I’ve known you all my life, and I know you weren’t ready for this kind of responsibility. Sex isn’t all about fun and games, and I hope you come to realize that. The last thing I wanted was for you to follow in my footsteps. I wanted you to be smart about these kinds of things.
To the second one, my closest friend: At 17, we are too young to have random nights with guys we haven’t even been dating, especially if you cry about how they never called you back the next day, or if they hooked up with another girl after you or something. Hello, listen to yourself darling! You say you’re ready and mature enough to have sex without commitment, but you always end up getting hurt! Yeah, the hurt may go away after a week before you’ve moved on to someone else, but it’s still there! You still have it! Not to mention, you’re not always 100% safe with it. These guys you’ve been “intimate” with all have reputations. A reputation isn’t a good thing, and the last thing I want to see happen is you get hurt in anyway way. I don’t want you getting an STD, or getting knocked up. You may think you’re ready to face all these things but you’re not, and I’m only “lecturing” you because I love you. One day, you’re going to make a wonderful mother – but that day doesn’t have to be today. Know that I am always here for you, and I might sometimes get mad at the things you do but I will be here.
***
I just wish that the girls of today didn’t have to feel like having sex is the only way to keep a guy interested. If he isn’t interested in your mind before your body, then you shouldn’t be interested in him at all. I hope everything turns out ok for those two people in the end though, because the last thing I want to see is them hurt.
Posted by Sarcastica @
2:44 pm |
I Do to Clean - I Just Don’t Like To.
I basically just scrubbed the entire downstairs bathroom. Yep, it’s so clean you could eat off it. My dad finally tore out the entire bathroom with the mold infestation, and repairs are set to be finished before the holiday session. Don’t want the pesky relatives seeing our skeleton spare bedroom and bathroom.
I’m actually really pumped about Christmas. The whole gang’s gonna be here - there’s bound to be tons of laughter and memories, after all last years’ most certainly was. I’m going to help with Christmas dinner too, because my mom will most likely be working over nights. So it’s up to me to save the day and cook the dinner! Sorry if I poison anyone, you’re all prewarned - just answer my questions when I have them, such as “Is the turkey supposed to be pink?”
We don’t get to set up the Christmas tree quite yet, but I think all of us have got mental images of where we want all the decorations to be. We’re even going to rearrange the furniture so that the Christmas tree fits snuggly amidst the chairs and sofas - since we’re having more people then usual over, we need all the chairs and sofas that are in the living room to stay there, so everyone has somewhere to sit when we’re doing the whole gift exchange thing.
I’m also excited about my semi-formal, which is this Thursday! I’m so nervous though, because I can’t get my hair and makeup done professionally like I did last year. I don’t have any money, so I can’t but I really want to because I don’t know how to do my hair or makeup. I’m wearing a baby blue dress, so my makeup has to be purples, silvers, or blues - and I don’t want to look like a cheap whore. I wanted a more natural look which I won’t be able to achieve on my own. I’ll settle for just curling my hair and having it down, but I don’t know what my game plan is yet for my makeup. I want to look very pretty, seeing as I want this semi-formal to be better then last years.
Posted by Sarcastica @
10:26 pm |
Little Updates
I’ve finally gotten started on what I have now nicknamed “The Project“. Quite some time ago now, Susan from the MHE group wanted me to start something that other teens with MHE could relate to. She asked me months ago, and I have finally found the time to do just that. Let me know what you guys think of it by commenting on that blog.
Now I’m off to do something that’s hopefully productive - well possibly not. Neil’s over and he brought his GameCube. So I’m probably gonna get suckered into playing that.
Posted by Sarcastica @
8:42 pm |
Temper, Temper
My little sister just threw the temper tantrum of the century. It was over the stupidest thing ever. She was supposed to go to her boyfriends house after dad picked her up from Volleyball, but since she didn’t know where she was supposed to get dropped off (was it at his house or at the arena where he plays hockey?) dad decided to pull into our driveway so they could eat dinner before he dropped Josephine off. I think this was a fair idea, that way Josephine would have time to find out where she was supposed to be dropped off.
But this idea didn’t sit well with her, and she literally lost it – screaming and crying and yelling at my parents. She also threw her beloved cell phone on the ground repeatedly until my mom took it off her. She said a lot of really hurtful things to my parents, just because she really wanted to go out and see Jay tonight. It had to be tonight, or else. She demanded that they take her or else.
I don’t know how I’ll ever get through to her. I don’t understand why she can never comprehend that the way she acts isn’t going to get her what she wants. She can’t show major attiude and expect to get what she wants. I’ve had so many talks with her about her attitude. I’ve tried so many times to explain alternative ways to delegate and compromise, but she always goes with her natural choice - throw a huge shit fit and have it handed over. It’s worked in the past on my mom, but this time she went way to far away to fast by attacking my dad, calling him an asshole and stuff. I know when she acts like this it really hurts my parents and makes them feel like they failed with her, so I try to be as well behaved as possible. Some days I act up but I’m 17 - it’s expected. It’s not an every day reoccurrence. I know when to draw the line.
I hope my parent’s don’t feel too upset by the things Josephine said. I know she doesn’t mean them, but Josephine doesn’t understand how much words can hurt. Especially during fights. She needs to learn that attitude doesn’t get you what you want. I just hope she doesn’t go insane from not getting her way - she is really used to it.
Posted by Sarcastica @
8:25 pm |
Right Now I’m…
Stessed out, and pissed off. No matter where I go, the drama follows. It’s high school drama everywhere I look. I’m beginning to really hate coming home at night, and I feel guilty saying it but it’s how I feel and this blog is basically my thoughts and complaints and what not. Keep in mind I’m not looking for sympathy or anything, and this isn’t a pity me post it’s just a “I really need to get it out” of me post.
Right now my sisters Kathrynn and Josephine are pissing me off beyond belief, they are so ignorant!. They are constantly calling me lazy and it pisses me off so much! They have no idea. When I got home on Sunday from the Weekend camping trip Kathrynn instantly started in on me about all the chores I had to do and it was 9:00 at night, all I wanted to do is sleep. I told her I didn’t want to and guess what, she called me lazy. She said I did nothing all weekend and the least I could do was fold laundry. Then last night both her and Josephine team up on me when Dad’s friend was there, and completely embarrass me. They demand that I clean the kitchen, and that I never do anything around the house and that I’m lazy and all this. Kathrynn was talking in this really fake voice that pissed me off so much because she kept saying “I really don’t want to bring it up in front of our guest but you really do nothing around the house.” I had a shitload of homework to do and I wanted to go to bed early, but I ended up cleaning the kitchen and staying up until 11:00 pm to finish my homework.
Today Kathrynn demanded I clean all the bathrooms. I have to babysit at 5:30 pm so my plan was to just relax until then, because I have no energy and I’ll be babysitting two toddlers. Then she said “Dad was right about you” or something, and kept acting like dad said something to her about me and she wouldn’t tell me what. I hate her. She always says I’m lazy and spoiled but she doesn’t know anything. I want her to walk one fucking day in my shoes and see how much harder it is to do just that, walk. I feel like a old lady and each day it gets harder to walk and do all those simple tasks that I really want to do but never have the engery to do. It feels like I’m walking around with fifty pounds of weight on each leg, and I’m so tired. I get enough sleep, so it’s not that. I’m just physically worn.
Kathrynn seems to think its mind over matter and I’m a faker and all that jazz, but I described to Mandy the other day how I was feeling and she said she feels the same. I’m so sick of Kathrynn assuming she knows everything about me, it pisses me off and it’s pushing me off the small cliff of sanity. Then she has the nerve to tell me she’s doing a paper or whatever on what I have, MHE, and wants my help to do it. She shouldn’t be writing a paper if she can’t even understand the physical limits and barriers and other effects MHE has. It’s 10 times harder for me to even walk compared to her, but according to her I’m a faker. I bet my entire family thinks I’m faking. My mom always rolls my eyes when I tell her if something hurts, and there was a time in grade eight when I stopped. It got to the point where my nerves were being stretched so bad to the point of me almost loosing use of my leg, so then she told me to tell her everytime. I still don’t, because I don’t want her to roll her eyes. Besides, she’s too wrapped up in her home business to notice me or anything.
Posted by Sarcastica @
4:48 pm |
