Why Anthro is Now My Favourite Class
Don’t worry everyone, I didn’t jump Andy in the halls today. In fact, I didn’t talk to him at all. I had a few chances when I could have started up a conversation, such as when the three Jessica’s, Chelsee, Kerry and I were sitting out at the picnic tables where all the stoners go to smoke it up (we were there because Jess L, Jess S, and Chelsee all wanted a cigarette and there were too many seagulls flying around - we were paranoid that we were going to get shat on so…to the picnic tables and under the trees we went). Jess S had said something really funny about have a hand on your back and dancing with guys, and we were laughing about that when Andy came over. But, I was too busy laughing to say hi. It was a funny vision, what can I say? Besides, why can’t he ever start the conversations? Oh right, he tries to and I walk away…
And I had another bad run with the vending machines. Jess S accompanied me to the office so I could get my money back, and the secertaries are retarded. “Oh, we don’t have a lot of money left over, maybe we shouldn’t give her any,” one of them said. I causually suggested that they get the vending machines checked out to see why they were eating money so that they wouldn’t have to refund people when it ate their change, and the other one totally snapped at me. “Maybe you shouldn’t put your money in the machine then!” Uh, hello! If I knew it was going to eat my change - again - then I would have never even put my two bucks in it. Like honestly, I wanted a drink, you must put the money in BEFORE you get the drink, that’s just how it works. But yeah, apparently I should have known that the vending machine would eat my change. I thought it was safe this time because I had watched a kid get a pop before I put my change in and it worked fine for him. Maybe I’ll stay away from them, just to be on the safe side.
Tomorrow is Kyla’s birthday, so tonight I’m going shopping for a present. If I don’t find anything, then I’ll just take her out for lunch. At Subway. After school, I think I’m going to hang out with Kyla and the Porno crew, Crystal and Molson. I was going to hang out with Robyn, Lisa, Jeff and Jeremy again but it’s Kyla’s birthday, and I hung out with that crazy lot on Monday. So tomorrow I shall hang out with Kyla and the Porno crew! I think I’ll buy her a cake, cause I love cake.
In other news, every girl in my Anthropology class is really into the subject now. We have so much fun hitting on the teacher, he’s so hot. No jokes, I’ll take a picture and show you all. Plus he’s 25, so he’s not even old at all. He’s Shannon’s age…only eight years difference, lol. Just jokes, I’m not interested in him, I just think he’s hot. And I love making him uncomfortable. I suppose we should go easier on him, because the giggles and the talking about how hot he is has captured the attention of Mr. L and his mission is now to taunt the poor guy in the staff room…. but we can’t help it. This is our first time ever having a hot teacher.
I made him uncomfortable today. Our current unit is “cults”, and Mr. Hotty asked us what an example of “bad thoughts” would be. I, being the unshy person I am, raised my hand and said “wanting to have sex”, of course while doing so I looked him right in the eye to make him uncomfortable. He went a little red and laughed and said “Yes, intercourse would be considered bad thoughts by most religions and cults”. Later on, we were working on an assignment in groups when Mr. Hotty came over to see how we were doing. I asked him if he had a tattoo, because Kyla mentioned she was getting one tonight - and I wanted to know because I think tattoos are hot lol. He said no, and Caitlin asked why he didn’t. He gave her an answer and then she said “I have one, it’s on my bum,” Mr. Hotty went beat red again and started to walk away after saying “that’s nice, I don’t ever want to see it.” We were clearly making him uncomfortable.
Gosh, Anthro is so much fun now.
Posted by Sarcastica @
3:08 pm |
Busy Me
I think going to the movies on Sunday was possibly a bad idea, I’m pretty sure that Zach likes me now and I don’t like him [in that way]. I wasn’t to pleased with how things turned out either. Yes, he’s nice enough…but he drives when he is high, which I don’t like. At all. And it’s impossible to tell whether or not he’s high because he’s so calm about it. In any case, I’m not interested in a relationship with anybody - unless they’re Andy. I like him, and I don’t want to settle for someone else. I can’t be with someone I don’t want to be with, and I don’t want to lead him on either by agreeing to hang out and what not. JD will probably bitch at me, saying all I do is complain that no one gives me a chance and I don’t give them either. Well, that’s true, but what’s the point in giving someone a chance when you know it’s not going to work? I am picky and shallow, I go for certain quailties that Andy (likely) possesses all of. I know it doesn’t make any sense because I know just as well as anyone what it’s like to be rejected, but I won’t change that. Why settle? Last time I settled, I ended up getting used. Last time I gave someone a chance to prove themselves worthy, it all blew up in my face.
In other news, I hung out with Robyn, Lisa, Jeremy and Jeff last night. It was so funny, Robyn said the dumbest things ever! We walked forever - or at least it felt like forever - and then ended up at Jeremy’s house to make fries because we were hungry. His little brother Jesse came into the kitchen with a sword - an actual, real life sword. Lisa was positive that he was going to kill us, it was so funny lol. This morning I was so tired I couldn’t function at all, much to Kyla’s amusement. I was easily confused, because my brain just wasn’t working. I was standing in the hallway wondering where Crystal went when Andy was walking towards me and said hey. If I had been able to think quicker, I would have said something more then “hi” back. I also walked away, even though if I had stood where I was then he would had to stop and talk - cause I was right in the middle of the hallway and it looked like he was going to, but I finally caught sight of Crystal and walked after her because I felt like an idiot standing alone. It wasn’t until later did I realize that I could have actually had a conversation with him if I just stood still.
Robyn says I should just jump him and kiss him in the hallway. Actions are sometimes better then words, and they do speak louder - don’t they? I’m thinking I might do that, just to prove to myself that I’m not a complete coward. Besides, it would be funny to see his reaction. Which, according to him, would be quite interesting.
I’ve read in several magazines lately that “approaching” the guy you like and kissing his socks off really works, because you stun him and all he can think about is that kiss. Good idea? No? Yes? Maybe? Who knows. We shall say. I’ll probably pussy out though, unless it’s another situation like this morning (when I was a doorknob) and he’s not with his friends and I’m not with mine. That could work. Yes? No? Maybe…who knows lol.
Posted by Sarcastica @
2:42 pm |
Roller Coaster
Can you believe I had to look up the spelling of “roller coaster” in the dictionary? I used to think it was one word, but according to the New World Dictionary, it’s two. That’s informative.
Anywho, I chose the word roller coaster for a title today because I think it’s quite fitting. Lately, I’ve been having a lot of emotional ups and downs - for no notable reason too. Today I’m feel kind of happy. I’m going to see Scary Movie 4 tonight with a friend, it could be a date but we haven’t decided yet. I mean, he’s picking me up and paying for my ticket…but we don’t know if we’re going to call it a date lol.
I still like Andy…a lot. But I am kind of sick of waiting around. I know I should talk to him about things, and I’m going to - hopefully on Monday. I don’t want to make any decisions with anyone else though until I hear his answer. There are a few other guys who are interested in me, and if Andy isn’t then I don’t want to sit around and mope about - although I’ll probably end up doing that, despite not wanting to.
Lisa says I should talk to him and see if he wants to hang out with us and her crush, so I think I’m going to do that. It’s kind of funy that Lisa and I never really talked before, myspace brings people together haha.
I feel a little guilty that I’m going out tonight when it’s mother’s day, but its the only night Zach can. He works during the evening, so we can’t. But I feel guilty… this morning Jo made her breakfast and we gave her our homemade cards and she spent most of the day sleeping - which is a good thing because she hardly ever gets to do that.
Well I should go finish getting ready…
Posted by Sarcastica @
5:27 pm |
They Can’t See Up My Skirt.
The funeral went easier then I anticipated. I was expecting a lot of tears, but I guess because it happened so long ago (in December), we’ve accepted it. There were the few odd tears, and I almost started crying when I saw Jen and Granny, but I knew that she’s happier now that she’s with Great Granddad.
I finally met my little cousin Jazzie, and she’s adorable. There was so many family there, and I got to see Joel and Karen again, which was cool. Joel never fails to crack me up, neither does Karen for that matter. Graveyard jokes can be funny, even though there not supposed to. We had to step over a lot of graves and I had this funny mental image of the people seeing up my skirt. Yes Karen, I know their dead…but still.
It was kind of weird seeing everyone again, I didn’t know half the people talking to me. Rachel’s changed so much, when we were younger I used to be the trouble maker. Looks like the roles are completely reversed. She’s working at Wonderland this summer, and I might hang out at her place for a week or so and we’ll go to Wonderland. She gets to go for free, but I don’t know about me lol.
When I got home, I went online and this guy sent me a message via MySpace. He said he was in Yearbook with me when I was in grade seven and he was in grade eight, I wasn’t sure about this so I pulled out my yearbook and there he was. He’s pretty cute, haha. I’m kind of amazed that anyone would remember that far back, I mean I wasn’t often at the yearbook meetings. He says he always thought I was cute and I got cuter, so did he. However, I like Andy and Kyla wants me to meet Jeff and I think Zachary is still has a lot of remaing feelings for somone. Meh.
I was supposed to be going to Karen’s for a weekend sometime, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen now, what with me going into the hospital soon. But Joel mentioned that they were going to come down for a whole month in the summer, and that sounds fun haha. Non stop partying all summer long, I like that haha.
Well, Granny and Papa are over now so I should go visit with them.
Posted by Sarcastica @
3:52 pm |
Better Off Alone
I went into town tonight to hang out with JD. She had told me that she wasn’t going to go to Jess L’s party anymore because Cody wasn’t going, so I figured we could hang out. My mom had to drop Jo off at the dance anyway, so I tagged along and called JD at Jess L’s house [from my mom's cell]. JD said ok, and we basically just walked around and talked about guys.
JD doesn’t see my attraction to Andy, which is ok. I don’t feel like explaining it anyway. We went to Mac’s and I got a slushie, then we saw Santino hanging around the town hall by himself. He was waiting for some people, and we decided to keep him company. Probably not the best idea. I didn’t know that one of the people he would be waiting for was Brandon. Santino told me it was all the “heavy metal” guys and Brandon is a wigger [kind of] so I didn’t put two and two together until I saw him walking towards the town hall with his huge group of stoner friends. Matt - this guy Brandon hangs out with and whom I thought was pretty hot - started laughing when he saw me, and then Brandon joined him. JD thought that was funny, but I didn’t.
It hurt. Brandon never treats any of his other ex-girlfriends as bad as he treats me, and I just don’t get it. He was the one who broke up with me, so I don’t know why he has to be such a moron. He’s a cokehead now, and I’m glad I’m not with him but you’d think he could treat me with a little more respect then he does, seeing as I gave him practically everything.
At that moment, I really wished I was with Andy. He wouldn’t have been so smug then, because Andy is way hotter and just a generally nicer guy then he is. But because I was with JD and not with a guy, it practically proved his point that I can’t get anyone. It’s not that I can’t get anyone, it’s that I won’t settle anymore. I settled for Brandon, he liked me and asked me out and I said yes, even though I liked Devon at the time. I gave him a chance and look where it landed me.
There is no way in hell that I want him back, I just can’t believe he treats me this badly. He’s changed so much, he used to be so sweet and caring and now he’s a complete asshole. He told me online once that I was ugly and I couldn’t get anyone I like. It just really hurts because he said that he loved me, and he was my first actual relationship.
It’s kind of funny actually, he dumps me and he turns out more fucked up then I am. He does coke and crack and God knows what else, and he’s hanging out with really bad people. I don’t care about him anymore, but I feel like I’m to blame. Stupid huh? He dumps me and I blame myself for his complete personality turn-around. He used to be a pretty great guy, and then he went out with me and now he’s fucked up. Maybe it’s best for Andy if I don’t go near him, I don’t want to fuck him up either.
I’m going to try and talk about something that will cheer me up and block out those memories of that cokehead. So bare with me, I know everyone’s probably sick of hearing about Andy - but for the most part he makes me smile, and I need that after tonight.
This morning I arrived at school and went into the Com Tech class to talk to Kyla, JD, Chelsee, Robyn and Erin. Andy’s also in that class, as I’ve mentioned before. When the bell rang, I guess he was in a hurry to leave. He almost tripped over a chair, and it was pretty funny. Our eyes locked for a minute as he almost fell, and I started laughing - cause it was funny and all. He blushed and left pretty quickly lol.
In English, I sat behind Andy and in front of Jolena. According to Jolena, Andy was checking me out when I walked into the classroom. I know he was, I caught him looking at me a few times today. He was probably still mad that I laughed at him, haha. I asked him how he was and he said fine, but I guess he didn’t know what else to say.
Kyla says I’ve already put up a wall between Jeff and I, and I haven’t even met him yet. That’s probably true. Usually I’ll have my eye on one guy and I’ll say no to all the others because I’ll only want to see him. I’m kind of like that with Andy, becuase I really want things to work out, even though it’s highly unlikely that they will.
And I’m afraid of another Brandon repeat. I couldn’t take that again, I can barely take it now. But I’m sick of being alone. So how is this going to work? I hate being alone but I’m afraid of committing myself to someone who’s going to end up hurting me.
Posted by Sarcastica @
10:31 pm |
Lock Me In A Bubble
Battle of the Bands was awesome, I loved the music they played! xoElliott really is an awesome band, and Cam R is awesome too! Andy was my favourite though, he’s so talented and he’s really hot, which helps. I also spoke to him today! It was after second period, and he was walking by and I asked him if he was still interested in playing for Sunrise to raise money, and he said yes…and wanted to know when it was. I told him we were still trying to find a good date, and he told me to let him know when I found out. Shy my ass, he didn’t seem shy talking to me, of course he didn’t really look at my face if you know what I mean, haha.
At lunch I was extremely hyper-happy, which is a change. I didn’t feel like going to the Resource Room for third period until 1:30 when Battle of the Bands was to start, so I went up to the Math classroom and signed in as JD, cause she was skipping. It was actually fun, we played Mash at the beginning and then Erica and I wanted everyone to play Heads Up Seven Up, haha. Which was cool.
Caitlin and I had wanted to sit right up front, so we could see everything but by the time we got downstairs to the Gym, all the seats were taken. Instead, we sat up on the benches. I’m sure I saw Andy looking at me a few times, but that was probably because Caitlin, Jess L and I hooted after like every person went off stage lol. Cam R’s songs made Caitlin and I a little sad, especially the one written for Kyle S, the guy that died over the holidays.
After school, I had to go to my pre-op. It was the same, boring thing, except I lost some weight. Apparently I weigh around 95 pounds, which is shocking because I never stop eating. I reminded my mom about the camping trip on May 24 weekend. Last night, Kyla called to invite me to the camping trip there going on from the 19th to the 21st, and I really want to go! But, of course, my parents are hesitating because they want to keep me locked in a bubble. My mom said I wouldn’t be comfortable. Well, no duh. It’s camping - with tents and no running water. I’ll look like hell. I don’t think it really matters if I’m comfortable or not though, because I won’t be sleeping much anyway. And it’s one weekend, so it couldn’t kill me. Life isn’t always going to be comfortable and cozy for me, and I have to have some kind of social life. I hardly ever go out, and when I want to they always hesitate with answers.
I am so sick of feeling like I’m trapped in a bubble. I couldn’t go rollarblading a while ago with Kyla, Crystal and Molson because my mom didn’t want me to fall. I can’t go out most school nights because “I’ll get tired”. This over protection thing, isn’t working out for me. I know that they love me but I feel smoothered sometimes. I want to do stuff. I want to get out there and socialize with all my friends that get annoyed cause I can never leave the house. It’s worse now that I have another surgery coming up. I really hope they say yes to me going camping with Kyla because it will be the last thing I can do for quite some time, I won’t be able to go camping after prom, which I was really looking forward too. Whenever I want to try something that normal kids do all the time, like rollarblading, it’s a no because my parent’s are afraid I’ll get hurt. I’m not afraid of trying new things and experimenting, so why are they?
While I was at the doctors office, I had a funny thought. While the doctor was talking, I almost thought I was in a reality TV show and I even looked around for the cameras, haha. I think having my own reality show would be interesting. It’s got like everything in it that people like to watch, like constant fighting and arguing. We are like a more refined version of the Osbornes, haha. There are funny social situations at school and TONS of drama there, so that’s like the OC or Laguna Beach. Plus theres the added bonus of gory surgeries and recoveries by yours truly. I think it would be fun to star in my own reality TV show, I could make money off my embarrassments and pain. Haha. Plus it might help people with MHE, and it might help me get over my millions of complexes.
So does anyone know someone who could hook me up with my own reality show?
Posted by Sarcastica @
5:21 pm |
Stupid Girl
I’m not feeling so down in the dumps today, I’m just feeling “blah”. I hung out with JD and Jess L at lunch, and we didn’t really do anything. I’m pleased that JD is finally starting to “show more skin”, and be more comfortable with herself…now if only I could do the same.
After lunch, I was walking by the music room when I heard, well, music. I went inside and stood beside Keegan to watch whoever was playing play. It was Andy, and he’s even better then the last time I heard him. At one point, he looked directly at me while he was playing, and held his gaze for longer then a minute, which is surprising because he usually pays no attention to me. I was told that that look meant something because music is very important to him and he usually is focused on playing, and he was focused on playing and me. Chelsee saw this I guess, and shook her head saying “stupid, stupid girl.”
It sounded like she was calling me stupid for “being” involved with Andy, but I’m not - nothing has happened between us, we don’t even talk - and at this rate, nothing will happen. In English I asked her what she meant, and she said I was stupid for “getting attached”.
To be attached to someone, don’t you have to talk to them occasionally and hang out with them? I pointed that out, and she shrugged and said “you’re beginning to get attached, and that’s stupid”. I’m assuming she meant it’s stupid to like Andy because he would never be interested in a relationship with me.
I know I’m easily attached, hell I get attached to my favourite clothes and I’ll refuse to let my sisters wear them. Being attached never hurt anyone, actually it does hurt but not as much as really liking someone. And I don’t really like Andy, I just sorta like him and I would like to get to know him more.
I did try to go halfway today. I went to the music room to watch him play and I didn’t even have music, and at the end of English I moved over to “his” side of the room to “talk to Jolena”. Really, I was over there trying to get up the courage to talk to him… I think at one point he tried to start a group conversation by marveling over his English mark. I couldn’t say anything though, I mean I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me.
But I really don’t think it matters. No one is that shy, and he said [online] that he couldn’t talk to me because he was scared. Uh, I’ve given him a lot of chances to step up and he hasn’t. Obviously, he doesn’t like me enough to talk to me. So I’m going to try to forget about him. I’ve started talking to a friend I volunteered with during the summer, he’s back from university. I doubt that will go anywhere, he’s 21 and I’m 16…well 17 in a couple months.
I notice that I’ve also been flirting more with the other guys in our English class. I don’t know why, but when I can’t talk to a guy I like, I’ll flirt with everyone else. It’s weird, but maybe I subconsciously believe that when he sees other guys flirting with me, he’ll get jealous and actually talk to me. So far, my plan hasn’t work.
On a different note, I presented my “Why Men Batter” project. I made a poster and I *sorta* read the information out. Presenting things really makes me nervous, and I skipped many points so I wouldn’t have to be up there long. Having Kyla hold my poster didn’t help, I was still panicing. I then made them watch a tape of Oprah interviewing a man who battered his wife, it answered pretty much all my points. I probably failed that.
Posted by Sarcastica @
4:00 pm |
To A Cue
I don’t think I’m depressed, I just have my good days and my bad days. I get sick of everything being so wacked out and out of my control. I get sick of some of my friends acting like self centered morons, I get sick of my sister’s attitude problem that effects everyone in the household, and I get sick of feeling alone.
Charred pegged pretty much all I was feeling in his comment to yesterday’s post, which really did surprise me. I assure you all that there is no way in hell that I am welcoming these feelings into my heart, I reject them with every grain in my body. This isn’t me, I know there are people worse off then I am. Some days I just can’t handle everything. Like most people, I have my good days and my bad days. I would never dream of harming myself, seeing as one of the main problems is the scars - why would I want more? Flawless is what I want to be. I want to be unbroken.
Like Charred pointed out, I feel cut off from those around me. Anyway that would make that feeling go away appeals to me. Anything that will make these feelings of worthlessness and loneliness goes away appeals to me.
I feel that by letting my parents know, it means I truly am defeated by all this. I hate letting it get me down, so most of the time I do my best to put on a happy front and forget about it. I do take steps to improve my life and feel better about myself, but the outcome is never long term. It’s just for that moment or that day. My parent’s already have enough on their plate, and letting them know how unhappy I am won’t do anything. What can anyone do? I’m unhappy with my body, with my weaknesses, and with who I am. Only I can change that and the only reason why I haven’t is because I’m still desperately trying to figure out how to do just that. If I had the answers, then I’d solve the problem. I’m searching for those answers, and I don’t think it’s going to happen over night.
I’ve always found that caring for other people or things helps, so I try my best to solve other people’s problems and soothe the aches and pains they feel. That’s why I’m usually attracted to the “bad boy” type, I see something that needs to be healed and I want to heal it. That’s why I liked Devon so much before, because he too is a broken soul. Although I no longer like him (in that way) I still want to heal and help him, and be his friend. Last night I offered to help him out, as he’s in a little bit of a pickle. His dad expects him to run a farm all by himself, and he’s not getting any help at all. Although I can’t do heavy farm stuff, I can still help him get his house (yes, his house - he owns it) organized as well as the barn. I’m going to try and help him find a home for six of the eight cats that currently are living at his house, thanks to his sister. Hopefully that will help him out a little.
I honestly don’t know why I feel so strongly about helping other people fix their problems when I haven’t fixed my own yet. In a way, it heals me to help other people. I know that sounds stupid, but it’s how I feel. I hate being focused on myself and my own problems, I’d much rather solve other peoples problems and help heal their scars. Inside, I feel like I’m already a lost cause, if I can’t love me who will? I try, I really do, but I fear me more then anything in the world. It isn’t my peers that point out my flaws, it’s me.
I’m like a reverse bully, instead of putting people down because I’m insecure and unhappy with my life, I try to bring them up and make them feel good about themselves. I don’t know why, but I do tend to do that. There are days when I feel completely and totally selfish though, on those days I wonder why no one ever wants to fill the craters in my heart.
I suppose seeing the good in everyone all the time is a bad thing, because I always end up burned. Even with friendships, I end up getting hurt by the person. I hate being lied to and decieved, I hate being taken advantage of. It’s my own fault, I make it so easy for people to take and take and never return. I hardly ever speak up and ask them for things in return, and maybe I should.
I don’t build these walls to keep people out, I build them to see if anyone cares enough to break through them. So far, no one does.
Posted by Sarcastica @
12:42 pm |
75 Minutes of Nothing
I really don’t see why I have to come into Resource for my spare, I mean I end up online doing nothing anyway so why can’t I go to the lunch room or wander around? It’s so boring in here, I’ve got no one to talk to and I always end up blogging about useless stuff that no one wants to read.
Lately I’ve been trying to keep busy to keep my mind off of the things that get me down, such as being alone. I try to surround myself with friends and family so that I don’t think about how alone I feel all the time. I don’t know why I’m feeling so down in the dumps lately, it could be millions of reasons. The fact that I have to go to the hospital again in a couple weeks, the fact that I don’t have anyone to lean on through these times, the fact that I feel like all my friends don’t want me around, and the amount of problems going around in the house could all be potentail reasons.
I’m not looking forward to this upcoming surgery at all. I can’t use my usual “I’ll get time off school” perk me up because I’ve already had time off school and I don’t want anymore time away from my friends. Kyla is a little upset because with me going in again, all she has is Adam to hang out with. I really don’t want to have this surgery, but I know I have too. My tendants in my knee are already under a lot of strain and I don’t know what will happen if I leave it.
I hate putting my life on hold though, and I feel like that’s what I’m doing everytime I have a surgery. Dating certainly goes on hold, as well as working and friends. I haven’t decided yet if I want to continue trying to forge some kind of relationship with Andy. The odds are low, and I know he isn’t the kind of guy who likes any kind of baggage. I have a cold right now, so I haven’t been talking to him in person or plotting ways to flirt with him. Like I said, most guys find running noses extremely unattractive.
I’m kind of feeling slightly left out with JD and everything that’s been going on. She doesn’t seem to want me around. I hung out with her, Jess L, Chelsee and Michelle J and Jess L talked to me the most out of everyone. I feel excluded from JD’s new life and the things that have been happening to her, and it hurts. I know I was the first she called when It happened, but now I get the impression that she has more fun without me then with me. Plus I think she’s mad at me for Friday.
Everyone has their relapses, and Friday was mine. Lately everything feels so out of control and so out of wack, and I feel like I’m in a bubble. I feel like I’m glass. Friday was an attempt to feel like a normal rebelious teenager with no problems, it was an attempt to forget everything I was feeling and for a while it did work. I know I went against everything I had lectured Jo about, but this feeling of not caring keeps growing and growing. I want to care, I hate feeling so detached from everything. This isn’t like me, I know it isn’t. But everything feels like it’s getting out of control and everyone of my friends has someone with their own lives and businesses and I’m not included.
I was thinking about getting a job at Shannon’s work as the hostess, but I can’t even apply with my upcoming surgery. It sucks so much because I really want a job and Kathrynn’s already got like two of them and she’s still going to apply for the hostess job. I think that a job would keep me busy and keep my mind off things, but I can’t even apply for one.
Posted by Sarcastica @
12:30 pm |
We’re All Messed Up
So I’m feeling rather miserable today, I have a cold and a major headache. All I want to do is crawl under my covers and sleep away today but I already tried that and frankly, I can’t sleep anymore. I want this cold to be gone by tomorrow, but that isn’t about to happen. How am I supposed to talk to Andy with puffy eyes and a running nose? Oh yes, I’m sure that’s very sexy.
I’m very worried about my younger sister, B2. In the past we have all tread lightly around her temper because no one likes to see B2 in one of her fits, they aren’t pretty. But it seems like my mom is finally taking steps to change the way B2 has always behaved. B2 seems to think that everyone should treat her with respect, yet she treats no one with it. She throws a fit when she doesn’t get her own way. Usually this will make my mom give in and give her whatever it is that she desires, but she recently went to far.
My parent’s are much like my cousin Karen in the respect of “spanking” children. They avoid doing it, and they try to take different approaches. Grounding never seemed to work for the majority of us younger ones, they never stuck. I luckily, know when to draw the line and close my mouth. I usually let my mom have the last word, because she is the mom after all. I’m not claiming to be an angel by any means, I throw my fair share of shit fits but I usually can admit when I’m wrong. B2 seems to lack remorse, at least around us she does.
I’m worried about her because my mom has decided to stick to groundings. This displeases her immensely, because people rarely say no to B2. I can tell she’s unhappy, but when I try to take to her about her attitude she gets her back up. She can’t see that she’s wrong, and that the punishment is fair for her attitude. She says that if mom bitches at her, then she bitches back because nobody bitches at her. Uh, mom’s are supposed to nag and bitch, it’s in the job description.
Posted by Sarcastica @
4:32 pm |
