Sick of these tears….
January 30, 2006
I think my Parenting exam went ok (in case any of you cared). I answered everything but one or two questions and I’m sure I did alright on the report we had to write (yeah, she made us write a report on our exam. What a nice person). Tomorrow I write my Art Exam (eek!) and it’s JD’s seventeenth birthday (double eek! I’m out of money now!). This is really a bad week to try and throw a little gathering together for JD, with exams and everything. Kyla thought we should push it to Friday so we could rent movies and spend the night at her house. I think that sounds more appealing, but I still want to do something with JD on her birthday.
It’s offical, they can’t get me in for an MRI scan before Feb. 6th so my surgery is now on March sixth. This gives me all of Feb for whatever it is I want to do. I can go to the Valentines Dance at SYG, as well as a few more clubnights, and for some odd reason Kyla wanted to know if I’d be in the hospital for Valentines day. Guess she knows someone willing to be my date, haha. Right, I think I read far to many fairy tales. Last time, my prince in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.
Actually I’m talking to that loser in aluminium foil now, could someone please tell me what I ever saw in this guy? Currently he’s calling me “boring” and “not funny” after I made a joke (I asked him if he had a job yet and he said yes, when I asked him where he said “all over” of course, I replied with “what your whoring yourself out now?”) I told him I had a muture sense of humour, and you had to have a developed brain to understand it, he said I still wasn’t funny and that I was “boaring” I retorted with at least I could spell boring (yes, I’m oh so mature but honestly, why was I so upset over this moron?) .
I guess that’s what I get for trying to be polite to my ex-boyfriend. He’s such an idiot, I mean if you guys were just involved in this conversation, you’d know why I’m most likely to live alone. If this is as good as it gets, a few cats and a dog or two sounds like amazing company. I told him he had some issues, he said I did and then when I asked him what they were, he said (and I quote) :”your ugly ummmmm none of my friends liked u ummmmmmm i dont think u have a chance with any guys and ya bout raps it up“. Ok ouch. Like major ouch. Obviously you can tell this guy isn’t too bright. I retorted to that, telling him I didn’t give to shits whether or not his friends liked me and that he had no idea about my love life (I didn’t respond to the me being ugly part, as I agree with that, and there is no way in hell he’s right about no guys liking me, I’ve got guys that like me. That David guy and that Marco guy like me, I just don’t like them. I’m sick of dealing with retards like Brandon). I asked him “If I’m so fucked and ugly, then why in the hell would you go out with me?” He said “naw i do it for fun and i gatta go my girlfriend is wait ing for me oh and by the way this jess isnt anyoing or unattractive peace out“. Reality check Brandon: the Jessica your currently dating is fat with scabby acne, and soon you’ll tire of her or she’ll smarten up and dumb your fat ass.
I brought this on myself by talking to him. I just thought that by now he would grow up a little, and we could talk like normal, civilized people, but he obviously hasn’t. He’s a complete asshole to me and it really hurts. Why did my first time have to be with someone who had absolutly no respect for me or cared about me in the least way? Why am I so stupid??? I know why this hurts me, because Brandon was my first “actual” boyfriend, you know, the one you hang out with often, your first meaningful kiss…that kind of thing. Puppy love I guess, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t care about him. I don’t anymore, I just find it upsetting that someone like him has absolutly no empathy towards other people. You’d think he could show a little more compassion to me, after all we went through, after all he took from me. This guy owes me about forty dollars in cash from Kyla’s party. Because I was busy the night before Kyla’s Halloween party, I loaned him some money to buy booze for us for Kyla’s party. I thought eighty bucks would get us loaded, but then I found out that forty bucks was apparently stollen from him by Rob and Jerry, but Jerry told Kathryn (his girlfriend) that Brandon gave it too them to buy shrooms, and I found out that he was doing shrooms on the Sunday after Kyla’s party. So all this really doesn’t add up now does it? All I want is my pride back, and that forty bucks. I could use that forty bucks right now. Not that Brandon gives two shits about other people.
January 30th, 2006 at 8:47 pm
ok, first off, you are in no way, shape or form, ugly! You are a very pretty girl!! next the little prick that said that? Not worth your time. I will tell you what his comments really meant. That other chick? she puts out-alot!! No, I dont know her, and I shouldnt judge her, but I do know stupid guys. Remember, you are not ugly!!!
January 30th, 2006 at 9:09 pm
Thanks Cristie, and shockingly yes the little prick did say all that.. I was actually really shocked. When we went out he was so sweet and caring, and now he says the meanest things to me for no reason, its not like he should be bitter, I mean he broke up with me. I was just trying to be the better person and be polite but… I don’t know. I guess I just feel like what he said is true because it came from someone I thought really liked me, and I was wrong so that leaves me doubting myself and other people.
Maybe I’m taking this far to seriously :S